Living Life in Italy

the call to missions

2011-03-01T17:26:00.002-06:00

The first night Peter took us to 3 common passages that are used to encourage missions. In his words we often feel guilted or maybe shamed into missions. We see the negative a lot of times in these following passages. We see the pressure but lose sigh tof the relationship/the heart of it all.

Matthew 28:19,20 so here is one of the famous missions send out. so here yes Jesus is sending out the disciples but let's not forget that at this point they had all been together for 3 years. Jesus wasn't just saying hey you guys go and I'm leaving but rather go and share with others what we have experienced together in relationship over time and I will be with you until the end. The message of the gospel is so much more than truth announced it's about a relationship with Christ like the disciples experienced.

Psalm 67 sometimes this can be seen negatively... so there are lost people not adoring/glorifying God so we gotta go tell people about Jesus so they glorify him(imagine this said in a forceful way). It's true people aren't glorifying Him but in this psalm we see relationships at the beginning and the end. In the middle there is joy. The Lord is transforming and blessing people so that in turn they take Christ to the nations so that they may glorify him and know this experience with Him.

Genesis 12 sometimes we're taught that oh you've been blessed so you are required to be a blessing to others or you feel guilted because you've been blessed. Yes we are oh so rich in that we have first and foremost the Gospel message in our lives. But we also have a roof, a house, a shirt which compared to the rest of the world makes us technically rich. We should glorify the Lord that we have these blessing and in turn use this privilege we've been given to share Him with others, we should let the blessings flow out to the nations.

In all this where is God's heart, what is it for, what are his feelings/thoughts for the nations? His heart beats for the nations. Ask yourself how does God's heart beat for (insert the people of your city)?? So I ask myself today How does God's heart beat for Italy, for Florence? Then I ask him and long that as His heart beats for Italy and Florence mine would beat the same for this nation and this city. I wan't his heartbeat for Italy/Florence to be my heartbeat.

reflections from Nove37 Conference

2011-03-01T17:12:00.003-06:00

Just home from the Nove37/OM young adults missions conference and I feel great...spiritually,etc. not so much physically. Trying to recover from a bad sinus infection, fever I picked up down in Pescara, Italy. Despite this the conference was really an amazing time and I can most definitely see the Lord's hand in the timing of it for me personally. I wish you could have all been there to here it first hand form Peter Mead but I 'll hit hte highlights here and share what moved me most. I find myself quite often these days losing sight of the vision, my calling, God's plan or rather the motivation of my heart to engage in missions in Italy...whatever you'd like to call it. I think this is normal over time as the reality of the hardness of the soil sets in, tough days culturally, and all sorts of things seem to assault you and I believe the enemy also uses these things to draw you away from the Lord and discourage you that you might eventually give up. But I find myself after 8 1/2 years off and on serving here in Italy still choosing to remain. This is mainly because deep down when I scrape away all the crap, yes I said crap, that I let distract me, fight against me, etc. and see once again the Lord's heart not just for the nations but specifically for Italy I am revived, moved with compassion and am once again solidified in my decision to serve in Italy.

The last few months or so I have been going back and forth on being certain of my calling to remain in Italy not so much because of lack of need here or love for the people but because it's honestly a hard place to be. I know a lot of people think living in Italy is a dream come true and it's glorious all the time but umm wake up call that's not so. Maybe for a few months or so but then reality will set in and the day to day struggles, hardships,etc will begin to take a toll and I know if we aren't certain of our calling and reflect often on God's heart for the Italian people and teh depths of all of this we will cave. So once again being in this hard place letting the junk take over I was in desperate need of seeing God's heart once again and also seeing my heart. It just so happens the nove37 conference was where the Lord allowed this to happen. So the next few posts will talk about just some moving things I heard while there and wanted to share not just for others but also for me to keep these words ever before me so that I don't lose sight of the mission..the passion of God.

What's up with the mysteriousness of God

2010-12-26T16:33:00.002-06:00

So this afternoon I had one of the most fruitful and interesting spiritual conversations with one of my italian friends. The funny thing about it all is that it seems to have stemmed or been spurred on by another event that involved a lot of sin, anger and hurt between two believers, myself and another. It's an event that is yet to be resolved but I find it utterly intriguing how the Lord works and the ways He chooses to do things. I mean really I've been praying for this friend for about 3 years now and though we've had countless spiritual conversations few end in a place where I feel my friend has actually understood any more about the Gospel or christianity in general. But yesterday and tonight that was different we talked about how christians aren't perfect people and they aren't even always nice people. I told Him it's somethign that makes me sad but that is part of the brokeness of the world. He remarked that he'd found out two of his co-workers religious beliefes. One is orthodox and htey have a 5 hour church service while hte other is muslim and is required to pray for 5 mins. 5 times a day. My friend was like religion is so strange it seems just another thign that divides people and can't it just be an internal thing, personal. I was able to talk with Him about how yes it is personal. That's the difference between religion and a relationship. We talked about how I long to foster this relationship I have with God in me but that doesn't mean I am perfect. Another friend added in that we "hang out" with other Christians for fellowship and when the godly community is functioning as it should it is able to point people to Christ, to point each other to Christ. But when it's not functioning and sin has entered in then it's messy. I told him in regards to the ungly event I'm a part of right now that if anyone outside had seen it that they would have been hard pressed to see God. He was like what but how are people enlightened by God acting like that. My same question!! We talked of how yes we are not perfect now but that one day we will be. We are selfish beings now but striving to become more like Christ and because we have Christ in us we are often times able to see right and wrong, sin, etc and that as my relationship with Christ others can see God through me. He thought this was interesting because he says we're all selfish and really God's the only non selfish one who really cares about people. In the end though I believe the Lord was working in Him. It's the first time I believe he has ever really understood that it's all about a personal relationship with Christ because yes we are dirty, nasty, ugly nad sinful people who need a redeemer. It made me smile and marvel at God all the more. How could he possibly use the sheer ugliness of what has been happening lately in my life to bring my friend just a tad bit more understanding of the Gospel. I mean really, God, couldn't you have found a less ridiculous way, a less hurtful way for me or something. Yet I praise Him that he is ever so slowly and gently bringing this friend closer to Christ. I long more than anythign for this person to know the Lord. If you think about it please pray for these two situations the messy ugly one and the spiritual one going on with my friend.

New Agape Student Video

2010-11-18T18:58:00.003-06:00

This is a video a few co-workers/friends and I worked on for a couple months. It's the first of what we hope to be a series of videos that challenge students. It's in Italian but I think you can get the premise of the video just by watching. The idea is your daily life and all the things that get your attention and time but then stopping and reflecting on much time you spend in your relationship with God during the day, how much do you influence those around you daily, how much time do you spend studying the Bible, etc. then it shoots back to starting the day over from the top and changing how we approach the day what we do with our time,etc... Enjoy!

SPOT AGAPE 2010 from Gstudios on Vimeo.

The goodness of the Lord

2010-11-18T18:47:00.002-06:00

Since about last January I'll be honest as always and say I've doubted the Lord's goodness, his plan for me and wondered often if I could really trust Him. Many days I answered no to these things and I tried to figure out how to still be a "Christian" but work it out better for myself by taking the control of my life from God. I can't say I walked away from Him but just simply chose to not engage with Him and I began to believe lies about His character and his promises. It has and still is a long road in that spiritual department but I will say over the last month He has show me some glimpses of who He really is, reminded of His promises and that they are trustworthy, He has provided a couple of amazing times with some of the glas in our ministry and well dropped a few things in my lap that provide accountability for me to at least engage with Him. I love those times when He shows me his goodness and the good He says He has for those who love Him. I know I am far from deserving of it but yet even in my valley of dark and struggling days He shows himself and He lets me see Him. Just this morning I was reading somewhere in the Bible for my study tomorrow and it was a verse about the plans He has for us but what caught my eyes was that it said those plans came from His heart. It somehow makes Him more real to me and allows me a glimpse into the depths of His love for me. THe fact His plans for me, for us didn't just come out of his good ideas box, off His list of things to do, out of the fleetings of His mind but rather they came from His heart. They had love, purpose, and our best interest in mind when they were decided for each of us. It's a small nugget I know but for me righ tnow those things are huge to see.

Quasi Decembre...Davvero?!?

2010-11-18T18:39:00.002-06:00

Wow! I can't believe it's almost December and well I feel like I'm still struggling to get my feet planted back here this semester. There were a few team changes,etc. as I spoke of earlier but really the problem is more personal. Perhaps it's the place I find myself in life...29 1/2 yrs. old and just realizing that even if I still feel 23. Every couple of days a plethora of thoughts and questions run through my mind that at times create anxiety or fear in me. I wonder what'next for me, is Italy still it, will I end up alone here with several staff leaving recently, who am I as a real adult, what are the passions the Lord is developing in me, more time with my family?, if I ever got a different job what would it be, what are my big dreams/desires for life, where are the Lord and I going, what does He have in store for me, who am I becoming as His daughter and oh so much more. My brain seems to never stop so much so that I often flop around at night for hours thinking about it all or have dreams about it. My desire right now though is to find my peace in Christ, trust Him and his plans for me and my life but I feel like recently the enemy is set on tempting me to doubt, worry,etc. Not much more to say on this just things I am pondering at the moment in life.

An Italian Perspective... from our Ntnl. Director

2010-09-25T07:13:00.003-05:00

I wanted to share this video with you from our new Italian National Director, Franco Bosio. He and his family are incredible spiritual leaders for us here in Italy and I am excited as well as blessed to be workign alongside them in Italy.

The start of a new fall...2010

2010-09-25T06:24:00.002-05:00

I arrived back in Italy Sept. 5th after 3 months away in America. I must admit when I left in the Spring I was in a pretty rough place personally, spiritually and with my job. Not to say that I didn't still love Italians and being in Italy but several factors drove me to some pretty significant depression and doubts about my faith in God. The time away over the summer to just be away in a place that was extremely familiar (Yazoo City, Ms) and very predictable along with some great family proved to be a huge blessing to me during my time of struggle. I was talking with a teammate recently about just the heaviness of the environment in Italy and she told me that we all felt it but she'd come to realize what it really is is a low grade constant stress. Like we're always waiting for the other shoe to drop whether it be an insane gas bill, a washing machine flooding your house, a rejection at the immigration office, a discouraging conversation with a student or some other craziness. This stress keeps us from every really fully relaxing. I can say I have felt that for sure and then on top of it there just seems to be something that feels heavy spiritually here. Those things together along with the Lord working in your life in some significant ways, refining you, revealing sin, and more can make for some tough times here.

Since last fall actually longer I think I've been in a low grade yet steady period of mild depression. Looking back on it all and thinking about how I felt I can see it very clearly now. This past January it seemed to all fall apart and I broke down into a time of severe depression. For me there is no shame in depression, admitting it or even working through it. I don't believe it makes me any less of a Christian or that it's a sin issue. I do believe there are many factors and one of which is the enemy at work in our lives trying to destroy us spiritually using every tactic possible. But thankfully the Lord allowed me to come to the realization that I was in this tough place and to ask for help. Some pretty incredible people have stepped into my life over the last few months and I can honestly say I am doing significantly better, that's not to say there aren't still tough moments for me. But in the depths of who I am I know the Lord has to be here at work in my life and I am every thankful for that.

Moving on like I said as I came back on Sept. 5th I was unsure of how I would really be doing emotionally and spiritually as I stepped back into this environment, culture and uncertainty that can sometimes be my job. The first week or so back felt really different and alone in some ways. There are no longer any stinters(1-2 yr. staff) in my city and one of my good friends/teammates has left and gotten married. So in my neighborhood there are really only 3 of us now in terms of American single crusade staff. Others are in the city but with families or they live further away. I had thoughts of what hte heck am I doing back here, can I do this, am I happy, etc. but I also knew I could not trust those feelings and emotions immediately. I needed time for people to come back from the summer and then for ministry to start up. So I pushed through making decisons to trek across town to hang out with other staff and teammates or just go play at the grocery to keep myself doing well with the depression and emotions. It seemed to really help.

The last couple days I've really felt a turn around in how I am feeling. Really back to myself, enjoying Italy, excited about ministry and all the changes this year, but also a little more ready to jump into working on the rough realtionship I seem to have with the Lord right now. Don't worry I haven't stopped being a Christian but I do believe I am in a significant and crucial place with the Lord right now. It's going to take some work on my part and well I know He's already at work from His side. I'm praying for a desire to pursue Him and the ability to fully know and experience Him. If you think about it please feel free to pray about my realtionship with the Lord specifically. I'm also strving to be honest about how I am doing but also not ashamed of the place the Lord has me. Thanks for being on the journey with me.

Did you know???

2010-04-23T16:26:00.001-05:00

Some interesting facts about the spiritual reality here in Italy.

DID YOU KNOW:
• 32,000 (out of 33,500) Italian communities have no established evangelical witness
• Only 10% (of expatriate missionaries) on average return for a second term
• there are 616 official religions in Italy
• there are an estimated 100,000 recognized fortune-tellers
• less than 5% of Catholics are actually practicing
• Islam is the second religion in Italy. Jehovah’s Witnesses are as numerous as all Evangelicals put together
• 2.6 million foreigners live in Italy
• in Milan alone more than 1000 teenagers commit suicide each year

Would you take a moment and pray about these things?

keller on lostness, God's love, etc...

2010-01-19T17:29:00.005-06:00

There is way way too much to recount in chapter 4 of the book but I want to highlight a couple phrases that stuck out to me personally because they are things I can relate to over and over again in my life. The title is Redefining Lostness and Keller talks about signs of elder brother lostness and younger brother lostness.

One of the signs of elder brother lostness according to Keller is a lack of assurance of the Father's love. He says that because we are unsure of God's love we try to live up to a moral code to earn our salvation. Problem is we're never sure we've arrived at being good enough for Him. So we simply aren't sure God loves us and delights in us.

Though I might not always come right out and tell you this is where I'm at or how I feel it's often my reality. Many times I may not even see this lack of assurance in my Christian life but if I look below the surface behind all my symptoms I see this is the root. Some of the symptoms he mentions are a lack of wonder, awe, intimacy or delight in one's conversations with God. I'd say since the summer of '05 this has for a majority of the time been very true of me. Most of my life prior to this time I'd say I already struggled with feeling emotionless in general. But I started to explore the roots of this in '05 and well the venture continues... Keller tells us to think of 3 kinds of people: a business associate we don't really like,a friend we enjoy doing things with and then someone we are in love with and who is in love with us. He talks about our communication style with each one. I'll skip to the one about the lover since this is one of the phrases standing out to me. He says that "with your lover you will sense a strong impulse to speak about what you find beautiful about him or her". Personally I find myself doing this sometimes with people in terms of God being the lover here. But too often I can look and see that this is really lacking in my relationship with God. Or often times I find myself telling students and others all about God's beauty, greatness, power, grace,love, etc. because I do believe it's there and He is all of these things and I want so badly for others to fully experience even if I don't myself. I hold out hope that perhaps they will experience it 100%.Problem is I want to know why it isn't this way for me. Why can't I feel it, be assured of it, fully embrace it?? It's not like I always am out there consciously choosing to seek out other Saviors or talk about my other beautiful lovers. But deep down or rather all over I feel very little and most times nothing. There's no emotion, no feeling, no nothing. That opens up a whole other area in my life. Too much for a blog. However, I am not content with this state of being. I refuse to accept that I will never fully get the Gospel and never fully be assured of God's love for me and His delight in me. Sometimes I think I'll never get it 100% myself but I've yet to give up the battle to do so. I believe and know that ultimately God is good and He does what he promises. Usually in his own timing or in his own ways though.

So the place I find myself at the moment is admitting the yes I'm not fully sure of God's love for me and that coupled with my feeling very little makes for a strange and confusing place to be for a Christian whose job is full time ministry. It'd be the same kind of place for any other Christian with any other occupation though I think. So the other night I was attempting to describe my current state of being with adjectives as I lay in bed. This is what I do most nights. Around 2,3 or 4 am when I finally crawl under the covers I begin to just think, ponder, wonder and then dialogue with God. Usually goes on for a while and well I find myself barely sleeping. Anyway, back to the other night... as I thought about a more thorough description for my current state of being I avoided the "dry" word because I wanted to honestly get at the root of what I was feeling or rather not feeling. I began to imagine this place that was pretty large but empty, a light but hazy shade of gray, with an abounding silence where I was all alone. It felt a little lonely at first but mostly it felt calm like it's ok to be in this place and not understand it, not really know how to go forward in it, or exit out of it. Just a place to kind of just be and think.
I would describe this place as where I currently find myself spiritually. I think I'm there just being and wrestling with God and the Gospel. And I don't think it's a bad thing just tough. To end this post here's a couple sentences from pg. 70 of the book that caught my eyes.

"If you've become a Christian out of being an elder brother, you can even more easily slide back into elder brother attitudes and spiritual deadness. If you have not grasped the Gospel fully and deeply, you will return to being condescending, anxious, insecure, joyless and angry all the time." (keller,70)

I logically know the Gospel and have accepted it but I believe mostly I don't deeply and fully grasp the Gospel in my heart and a large part of that comes out of my mistrust of God's heart, my lack of assurance of His love for me and my issues with feeling/emotion. So this is what I am wrestling with. Welcome to the journey.

come back later for more ramblings...

Reading...The Prodigal God by Tim Keller

2010-01-19T16:54:00.005-06:00

So if you've read the last couple posts or so you know that there's been a lot of contemplating, thinking, searching,etc etc going on in my life. Well that season hasn't come to an end just yet(not that it every really will). The last couple months or so like I said in the last post I've found myself all over the map emotionally, spiritually, and physically. Many people many not see it from the outside but inside there is an ever flowing and raging river of questions, confusions, doubts, and the likes. My time spiritually has been what some or rather the christian culture would call dry. I find myself wanting to revolt at the use of the word or phrase. It seems so cliche and so well non-chalant(sp?) about the current state of my spirit. My Bible has been left and lost off and on during this time. To confess there where days I didn't really even think about it or know where it was. I actually went to a christian conference and absolutely cannot remember even thinking about it when packing. I don't say this to somehow brag or show off the state I am in. There is nothing glorious or desirable about it but this is where I find myself recently. Since returning to Italy I started reading the Prodigal God at the suggestion of an Italian friend. The first four chapters or so tell the story of the "man who had two sons" more commonly known as the parable of the prodigal son. Keller uses these chapters to show how actually the story is about two sons that are both lost and both refusing God. He draws out what each of these two types of people would look like spiritually-one the rebeller and the other obedient to the letter of the law. To very inadequately sum it up he's telling of how we're really trying to be self saviors and in control. Though one son is "good" and the other "bad" both are alienated from the father because of their wild actions and moral conformity. Read the book to really understand the hearts of both sons. Way to much for me to explain it all here and I know some may be thinking but the older son did everything right why was he left out in the cold in the end. So I say purchase a copy of the book and read on...

Moving along through most of this I was like ok ok got it. Yeah I see that tendency in me to be a pharisee law abider trying to earn my salvation but there's also a bit of the rebeller in me. Keller takes time to redefine sin for us as well just in case we don't quite have it down yet. "Elder brothers obey God to get things. They don't obey God to get God himself-in order to resemble him, know him, love him and delight him. So religious and moral people can be avoiding Jesus as Saviour and Lord as much as the younger brothers who say they don't believe in God and define right and wrong for themselves." (keller, 43) So in the end what God is saying is sin isn't just doing bad things or wrong things but rather putting ourselves in the place of God as Savior, Lord and Judge.

Then Chapter 5

Jan. 11th, 2010...where I'm at

2009-12-02T15:08:00.006-06:00

So over the last couple months my emotions, feelings and state of being have varied wildly from really good to what I might call deep sadness of heart mingled with confusion and some doubt. But the Lord has been faithful even when I am and continue to be unfaithful and lacking in discipline in my life. I've found myself questioning the goodness of the Lord and how and why He does the things or allows the things He does in the lives of His children. And then there are times when an unexplainable peace overcomes it all. I'm intrigued with the Lord and all that He does. No I don't understand it all not even a fraction of it and yes sometimes ok often I wish I did. I'm sure you many of you at some point or another how felt what I'm talking about. Though I've spent very minimal time in the Word lately there have been a few songs that consist of mostly scripture that I just can't get out of my head. It's those promises made by the Lord to His people that keep me going, give me hope and allow me to get up again day after day even when I may not feel like doing so or even when I'd like to actually run the other way. The whole cd is amazing but two Shane and Shane songs in particular have been speaking to me: For the Good and This Is Who I Am. Check them out on itunes. So today Jan. 11th at 11:20 pm I'm feeling good and for today I've felt anew a glimpse of His goodness in my life and a joy in using the gifts He's given me. The sun came out today.

I just finished 500 Days of Summer. Great movie and oddly fitting for the time in my life I find myself in. So go watch it. The artsyness and music are some of my favorite parts. Not your typical humorous or mushy chick flick.

The hurting of a heart

2009-10-26T18:50:00.002-05:00

So the news isn't really out to everyone but not quite two weeks ago the guy I've been dating for 5 months broke up with me. I'd always heard stories and seen others go through it but the Lord has spared me that pain for almost 28 years. Until now that is...don't get me wrong the time I spent with this guy was a huge blessing. I saw the Lord use him, our relationship and everything in between to grow me in many areas of my life. It was actually quite beautiful to see and experience it all from the spiritual prospective. Not at all bad for a first relationship but the moment I currently find myself in isn't easy. The first few days I tried to pretend as if it were all a dream and that perhaps I'd wake up and all would be good again. I resorted back to my hard heart and mostly emotionless self from several years ago. But I am not that person anymore nor do I desire to be and then it happened I was quickly broken. I found myself understanding why it ended for the most part, thanking the Lord for how amazing it was and how much He had grown me through it but at the same time deeply hurting inside. I felt feelings and emotions I thought I was incapable of having. It hurt deep inside in a strange way and it wasn't all that pleasant. I wanted to yell at God and ask why he chose to teach me things in this way. I wanted to know how come he couldn't have done it in another way? Or why two people who get along so well, care about each other so much, seem darn good together and love spending time together can't actually fall in love. why? what's the point? In the end I still can't answer all those questions. But I do know that God works in mysterious ways and that sometimes there are just certain things we cannot learn or grow in without being put in very specific circumstances. The fact that I feel anything, am letting myself grieve a little and am actually writing this for all to read is a sign of major work done by the Lord. The last few days I've been pretty good. I laugh again, enjoy going out with friends,etc but it's an ever present battle against the lies of the enemy about my worth, my beauty, things said during our time together and believing the best about this guy. I have nothing to do but cling to the Lord and his promises through this. I've spent a lot of time in the Psalms basking in the raw and varying emotions of David and his conversations with the Lord. They have been a comfort and a beautiful reminder of the Lord's goodness and love for me. So I'm moving on but the tears still fall every now and then. I try to embrace the sick feelings that creep up in my heart every so often and seek the Lord's face through it all. May the Lord ultimately be glorified from this relationships and our individual lives.

Sickness

2009-10-07T16:02:00.002-05:00

So it seems I'm sick yet again. I can't seem to figure it out but I'm assuming I have a very weak immune system. I can never get hte usual light cold, sore throat, etc like most people. Like always I tried to avoid the antibiotics nad let it heal on it's own a bit. Today I gave in and went to the doctor amid excruciating pain, tiredness, lack of breathing ability, and unable to eat or swallow. Sounds fun huh. It like the light occasional sore throat mutated overnight. The doctor gave me a nice scolding about waiting so long and that I should never do this again in the future because it's very dangerous for me. In the end I have a very bad case of strep throat and one tonsil has abscessed, hence the inability to breath. The tonsil is so swollen it touches the thing in the center of my mouth and that prevents air from entering half my windpipe and causes excruciating pain. The entire side of my neck, lymph nodes, and ear are all swollen. I'll save you the rest of the gory details about the inside of my mouth. But in the end I'm on powerful antibiotics for 12 days and forcing myself to at least drink a little milk or yougurt with the pills nothing more. Pray for quick and complete healing of my throat and tonsils. I don't think I've ever had throat pain this bad in all my life. It's also impairing my ability to talk with the swelling and pain. Our team will be starting planning meetings tomorrow meeting at 10a.m. Those will continue on and off for the next 10 days. I'd love to be up and at full strength for those. So pray for the antibiotics to work quickly and thoroghly. Pray for our team as we enter into this period of intense planning,etc for the upcoming year on campus.

Seeking the Lord- John Piper

2009-09-25T19:59:00.002-05:00

Recently I signed up to receive an email devotion from John Piper every 4 days or so. I've always found myself challenged by Piper and his writings but I was thinking how big of an impact can a simple email devotion have, how in-depth can it be,etc. I have to say that I have kept each one of them an I read them over and over again. I love looking into the depth of the Word the way Piper does. I find myself challenged in my my disciple or lack thereof to get into the Word like this on my own time and I'm seeing the grace, mercy and love of the Lord in whole new lights. So here's one that I enjoyed recently. Thought I'd share it with you.

What Does It Mean to Seek the Lord?

August 19, 2009
By John Piper

Read this article on our website.

Seeking the Lord means seeking his presence. “Presence” is a common translation of the Hebrew word “face.” Literally, we are to seek his “face.” But this is the Hebraic way of having access to God. To be before his face is to be in his presence.

But aren't his children always in his presence? Yes and no. Yes in two senses: First, in the sense that God is omnipresent and therefore always near everything and everyone. He holds everything in being. His power is ever-present in sustaining and governing all things.

And second, yes, he is always present with his children in the sense of his covenant commitment to always stand by us and work for us and turn everything for our good. “Behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age” (Matthew 28:20).

But there is a sense in which God’s presence is not with us always. For this reason, the Bible repeatedly calls us to “seek the Lord...seek his presence continually.” God’s manifest, conscious, trusted presence is not our constant experience. There are seasons when we become neglectful of the Lord and give him no thought and do not put trust in him and we find him “unmanifested”—that is, unperceived as great and beautiful and valuable by the eyes of our hearts.

His face—the brightness of his personal character—is hidden behind the curtain of our carnal desires. This condition is always ready to overtake us. That is why we are told to “seek his presence continually.” God calls us to enjoy continual consciousness of his supreme greatness and beauty and worth.

This happens through “seeking.” Continual seeking. But what does that mean practically? Both the Old and New Testaments say it is a “setting of the mind and heart” on God. It is the conscious fixing or focusing of our mind’s attention and our heart’s affection on God.

“Now set your mind and heart to seek the Lord your God.” (1 Chronicles 22:19)

“If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth.” (Colossians 3:1–2)

This setting of the mind is the opposite of mental coasting. It is a conscious choice to direct the heart toward God. This is what Paul prays for the church: “May the Lord direct your hearts to the love of God and to the steadfastness of Christ” (2 Thessalonians 3:5). It is a conscious effort on our part. But that effort to seek God is a gift from God.

We do not make this mental and emotional effort to seek God because he is lost. That’s why we would seek a coin or a sheep. But God is not lost. Nevertheless, there is always something through which or around which we must go to meet him consciously. This going through or around is what seeking is. He is often hidden. Veiled. We must go through mediators and around obstacles.

The heavens are telling the glory of God. So we can seek him through that. He reveals himself in his word. So we can seek him through that. He shows himself to us in the evidences of grace in other people. So we can seek him through that. The seeking is the conscious effort to get through the natural means to God himself—to constantly set our minds toward God in all our experiences, to direct our minds and hearts toward him through the means of his revelation. This is what seeking God means.

And there are endless obstacles that we must get around in order to see him clearly, and so that we can be in the light of his presence. We must flee every spiritually dulling activity. We must run from it and get around it. It is blocking our way.

We know what makes us vitally sensitive to God’s appearances in the world and in the word. And we know what dulls us and blinds us and makes us not even want to seek him. These things we must move away from and go around if we would see God. That is what seeking God involves.

And as we direct our minds and hearts Godward in all our experiences, we cry out to him. This too is what seeking him means.

“Seek the Lord while he may be found; call upon him while he is near.” (Isaiah 55:6)

“If you will seek God and plead with the Almighty for mercy...” (Job 8:5)

Seeking involves calling and pleading. O Lord, open my eyes. O Lord, pull back the curtain of my own blindness. Lord, have mercy and reveal yourself. I long to see your face.

The great obstacle to seeking the Lord is pride. “In the pride of his face the wicked does not seek him” (Psalm 10:4). Therefore, humility is essential to seeking the Lord.

The great promise to those who seek the Lord is that he will be found. “If you seek him, he will be found by you” (1 Chronicles 28:9). And when he is found, there is great reward. “Whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him” (Hebrews 11:6). God himself is our greatest reward. And when we have him, we have everything. Therefore, “Seek the Lord and his strength; seek his presence continually!”

Seeking with you,

Pastor John

New Summer Pics

2009-09-18T06:15:00.001-05:00

Be sure to check out the right hand side of this page as you will find albums of photos from Bari summer camp, Africa and the rest of summer down south. Enjoy!

New Arrivals

2009-09-18T06:06:00.004-05:00

Tuesday marked the official start of our year at the Univ. of Florence. The start was a little bittersweet as most of the Florence team had to postpone their arrival for several more weeks. But we are more than excited to host part of the Siena team until their apartments are ready in Siena. At the moment we have a total of 4, 1 year, stitners here. Most have spent some time in Italy before and have even taken a few language classes. Kylie, the lone Florence stinter, has actually never set foot in Italy yet she is unafraid to use her language skills learned in the States. It has been a joy to go back a little in time and remember my first days in Italy when all was strange, unfamiliar, and confusing but yet so exciting at the same time. Though year to year I find myself a little more tired of continually beginning new friendships and relationships I know that it is worth it if not for my sake for theirs. I love getting to help them learn and discover a whole new world. Watching their eyes light up, their confused looks, their embarrassed smiles as they attempt to speak Italian, and so much more provides joy in my days. It's a very simple thing I know but I get much satisfaction out of it. The Florence stint gals have also chosen an apartment very near to my house so I get to spend a lot more time with them than I did last year. I'm looking forward to dinners together, Grey's anatomy dinner nights, and just hanging out as friends. Pray for relationships to be built quickly and that the rest of our team would arrive soon so that we can all start off on this great adventure together.

2009-07-24T12:42:00.002-05:00

Moni from Africa....Hope you are all doing well and got my latests newsletter. I've been in Africa since Saturday and things are going well. The team has bonded very quickly nad we're having a grea time together. Unfortunately there was the death of a child in the village we are working in this week so we haven't been able to go to the site as we would be a big distraction to hte funeral,etc. We just returned from gonig to a teammates village in N. Malawi to experience village life i.e. no running water, no electricity, sleeping on the floor, no bathrooms, etc. We love giving hte team of real life here!!! Luckily, I'm used to it nad actually kind of like hte hot cup bath under hte stars. haha. Wish you could all be here to experience it. We also had our first Jesus film showing last night. 500 people came and the response was very positive I think. Pray for the people as they continue to think about and meditate on what htey heard nad saw last night. That htey would come to know Christ in a real and personal way. Pray for our team as well during our morning mettings times in the world and learning about cultural things.Ok I need to go now. Hope you are all doing great!!! MOre news soon.Love, martip.s. pray specifically for God to continue to provide for my finances in the last couple of months many expenses have arisen from flights to africa, to paying to teach at an italian christian summer camp, etc. etc. He has always provided for my needs so pray that I would rest in Him and trust that He will take care of me. Thank you my apologies for how horribly written and misspelled this email is. Africa computer is a little difficult!

Thoughts I Stole on Intimacy

2009-05-11T21:04:00.002-05:00

It was maybe about 2 years ago when I heard this talk on Hebrews 3 given by one of our national directors here in Italy. It struck me then pretty deep where I was at in my job and spiritually and to this day I go back to it over and over again.

What is intimacy?

It's a closeness with transparency. What we are looking for is rest and intimacy. Playing it safe never leads to intimacy or rest.

When difficulties arise one of two things happens:

1. It pushes you closer to God

2. It pushes you further away from God and you run for safety

Difficulties that push us from God lead to unbelief which leads to a hard heart.

In Hebrews 3 we are given two commands:

1. consider Jesus, contemplate Him

2. collectively see to it that you don't let anyone in your community fall away

Where is the rest I seek? psalm 95, Jesus provides that rest.

Unbelief? Ex. 17: 1-7 Pay attention to quarreling in your own heart,etc. this can be a sign of unbelief

In Exodus 17 the people ask 1. Is God present? 2. Is God good?

This is always our root issue of faith. Do we believe God is present and good?

Hebrews:

Ch 4: 14-16 Where's the grace?

return to the throne of Grace for it is always open. Run to Christ in prayer for here you will find rest. Hold fast to our confession because of Christ's death and resurrection.

Blog Neglector!

2009-04-27T13:50:00.002-05:00

Yep that's me a blog neglector. It was and still isn't my intention to be one but I am none the less. THings have been so busy this year and just when we try to slow it down a notch somehow it seems to get busier or more confusing. The last couple months started out shaky but ever since March I've loved most of my days on campus. The Lord is doing some pretty cool things and I've been blessed to make a lot of new friendships. The months are rolling on and I realize I've been in my new city for just over a year now. crazy how time flies. At the moment we're in the process of ending the semester well, transitioning to summer stuff a little and getting ready for our summer project in Malawi. The last couple weeks have brought some sad losses for me but joy in the midsts of them as well. A great uncle who was like my grandfather passed away. He had lived a nice long and full life. Ever since I can remember spending time with him and his wife was always a spiritually encouraging and uplifting time for me. The love the Lord and had a relationship with Him that I still envy and covet to this day....

thoughts from reading Hudson Taylor

2008-08-25T23:17:00.003-05:00

I'm in the middle of reading a book entitled Hudson Taylor's Spiritual Secret. Over the years as a missionary you hear about the great trailblazer missionaries who went before you to the world. I love reading their biographies and seeing the very real, radical faith in God they had. I've been encouraged by their lives and pushed to a deeper faith in my God by most of them but reading about Hudson Taylor has been different. Many times these biographies make me hunger to embark on an even more adventurous life or run towards an even more radical mission field. But I find myself in these days greatly challenged with my complacency and my seemingly non-existent need for Christ's moment by moment sustaining power in my life. It happens every time I come to the states. The pace of life and the overwhelming amount of consumerism or ability to freely consume draws me away from the most important thing in my life, my communion with the Savior. Time goes by and I find myself passing days without spending purposeful time in the Word, in His presence and in concentrated prayer. If I stop for a minute I begin to feel the emptiness inside me and the restlessness/unsatisfaction of my soul. I know that it comes from my lack of time with the Lord and not seeing Him as the true satisfier in my life. My heart begins to hurt and I feel an overwhelming sense of guilt and then shame over how easily my heart is lured away. I see the idols that I've put in the place that my God should have and I'm ashamed. Yes missionaries aren't perfect and we aren't spiritual superman.

While I've been reading Hudson Taylor's bio I've seen His deep love and devotion to Christ. He put his walk with God before everything else in his life. This love for Christ and the realization that others around the world are perishing daily without knowing Christ drove him to inland China in the 1860s. Though I'm in Italy for the same reasons I'm cut to the depth of my heart that my love for the Lord and the lost isn't anywhere near what his was or what it should be. Here is one paragraph from the book that I'm processing right now and trying to respond to personally.

"We may have more wealth in these days, better education, greater comfort in traveling and in our surroundings even as missionaries, but have we the spirit of urgency, the deep, inward convictions that moved those who went before us; have we the same passion of love, personal love for the Lord Jesus Christ? If these are lacking, it is a loss for which nothing can compensate." H. Taylor

I give God such a small place in my life. These days I'm longing for more of who He is, more of Him in my life and more love for those living without Him. That I would be wholeheartedly sold out for my Savior and let no earthly thing draw me from an intimate relationship with Him!!

Italy and Muslims: What's the reality?

2008-08-19T16:29:00.002-05:00

Italy and Muslims:

About 600,000 Muslims live in Italy legally but it is hard to estimate the large numbers of illegal aliens. Most of these Muslims come from countries in the 10/40 Window, particularly Tunisia, Libya and Albania. Many speak the Italian language well, attending schools and working in factories throughout the country though a larger number live in Northern Italy.
Cultural Misunderstandings in Italy

Many Arabs from North Africa and the Middle East believe that Islam is the absolute truth and consider it their duty to promote their religion in Italy. However after the September 11 terrorist attacks in the United States, Islam received much attention in the Italian media. Many traditional Muslims found it difficult to reconcile their Islamic beliefs with the cruelty of certain Muslim fundamentalists.

There are over 100 mosques in Italy, 65 of which are in the North. Italian Muslims are increasingly gaining official recognition, which helps them open mosques and Islamic schools. Many Muslims who originally migrated to Italy are now successfully bringing their families to Italy while others are marrying Italian women. In Italian schools, the majority of non-catholic students are Muslim. Cultural misunderstandings and differences between Muslims and Italians are increasingly leading to social tensions. Recently, some Muslims have requested that all crucifixes be removed from Italian classrooms.

Equipping Believers in Italy
During the last decade, Italian churches have started equipping believers in order to effectively evangelise Muslims yet these efforts are terribly small compared to the need. There are very few full-time missionaries who work among Muslims in Italy, and those who do have difficulty coping with all the demands that are placed on them. One effective evangelistic activity, which has been successful during Ramadan is the distribution of the “Jesus” video and evangelistic literature in the Arabic language in Italian harbours and airports. Many Muslims return to their native lands (Tunisians, Moroccans, Algerians, Senegalese, Libyans and others) for this time.
Muslims in Italy generally have a deep sense of religiosity linked to their many rituals, but they lack any certainty about the salvation of their souls. They often have preconceived ideas towards Christianity and Western civilisation, which makes it harder for them to hear the Gospel.
Pray for the Muslims of Italy:

* May Italian Christians have a stronger desire to know Islam and the ways to evangelise Muslims effectively.
* Pray for the precious ministry of the few full-time missionaries in Italy.
* May friendly relationships of trust be established with Muslims. “Friendship evangelism” is the method that seems to bear the most fruit. Love and acceptance from a believer, in a hostile country, can melt the hardest heart.

Background on Italy (World Factbook)
Italy became a nation-state in 1861 when the regional states of the peninsula, along with Sardinia and Sicily, were united under King Victor EMMANUEL II. An era of parliamentary government came to a close in the early 1920s when Benito MUSSOLINI established a Fascist dictatorship. His disastrous alliance with Nazi Germany led to Italy’s defeat in World War II. A democratic republic replaced the monarchy in 1946 and economic revival followed.
Italy was a charter member of NATO and the European Economic Community (EEC). It has been at the forefront of European economic and political unification, joining the Economic and Monetary Union in 1999. Persistent problems include illegal immigration, organized crime, corruption, high unemployment, sluggish economic growth, and the low incomes and technical standards of southern Italy compared with the prosperous north.

Economy of Italy
Italy has a diversified industrial economy with roughly the same total and per capita output as France and the UK. This capitalistic economy remains divided into a developed industrial north, dominated by private companies, and a less-developed, welfare-dependent, agricultural south, with 20% unemployment. Most raw materials needed by industry and more than 75% of energy requirements are imported. Over the past decade, Italy has pursued a tight fiscal policy in order to meet the requirements of the Economic and Monetary Unions and has benefited from lower interest and inflation rates.

About Italy
Population: 58,145,321 (July 2008 est.)
Life Expectancy at Birth: 80.07 years
Ethnic groups: Italian (includes small clusters of German-, French-, and Slovene-Italians in the north and Albanian-Italians and Greek-Italians in the south)
Religions: approximately 90% Roman Catholic (about one-third regularly attend services); mature Protestant and Jewish communities and a growing Muslim immigrant community
Languages: Italian (official), German (parts of Trentino-Alto Adige region are predominantly German speaking), French (small French-speaking minority in Valle d’Aosta region), Slovene (Slovene-speaking minority in the Trieste-Gorizia area)
Literacy: 98.4% — Male: 98.8%, Female: 98%

Italy is now being called an unreached people group as only 1% of the population attend church regulary and less than 1% claim to have a relationship with God.

2008-07-28T17:53:00.001-05:00

2008-07-28T17:42:00.001-05:00

Summary of Malawi Project

2008-07-28T17:36:00.000-05:00

On the Road to Africa – Agape Italia Bringing hope to Malawi

Over a year ago a vision came about in the ministry of Agape Italia to bring together the good news with good deeds in the form of humanitarian projects. The staff of this new team are Haswell and Maria Beni, and Marti Sanders, We desire to see this new holistic (body, mind and spirit) ministry approach partnered with each of our exisiting ministries. The hearts of Italians, whether believers or not yet believers have proven to be deeply open to helping those in physical need. From the Student Ministry there is a vision of seeing Italian University students be introduced to the Gospel and possibly come to know Christ through these projects are Christ centered

The time came to step out in faith and launch our first project. Haswell Beni, being from Malawi, Africa, had many contacts in the sister ministry of Malawi. We got in touch with Life Ministry, (ccci Malawi) and asked for help to locate an already developed project that we could join hands with. Immediately, Steve Katakumala, Jesus Film Director Malawi and Ignatius Nyaga, National Director Life ministry Malawi put us in contact with Masintha C.C.A.P Church in Lilongwe (the Capital City). The church was in the beginning stages of developing an education project in the village of Chimutu, just ouside Lilongwe. Their desire was to build 5 blocks consisting of 2 classrooms each for a primary school and a well. It seemed the perfect project for us as we were looking to partner with long term sustainable projects. Through much prayer and planning the trip came together in early 2008. After recrutiing participants throughout Italy, the US and Europe, in late May 2008 at the last minute, we saw the numbr of participants drop to just 5 Italian students from Florence and the Naples area. We were disheartened as we had prayed for 30 people to take part but the Lord showed us that He was answering our prayer that only those truly called would come. Each of the 5 students took a big leap of faith in looking for financial sponsors and chosing to take part in village life for 3 weeks. We have seen God”s hand at work in providing prayer partners and finances from Italy, America and Africa. What a joy that we can be a blessing to each other in this way. It has given us a taste of what heaven will be like when people from all tribes, tongues and nations come together.

The project left on July 4th for the 3 weeks working in Chimutu village outside the capital of Lilongwe, Malawi. The students were welcomed with a choir at the airport followed by a dinner at Masintha Church. From the first day, we’ve seen the spirit at work drawing these students hearts to himself. Some of them are not yet believers but walls are coming down and they are beginning to see with their eyes, hear with their ears, and experience through community the love of Christ. They’ve heard the Gospel numerous times and are daily being exposed to life change stories from Africans, Italians, and Americans. Pray for their continued spiritual searching and that it would soon turn into a lifelong journey of walking with Christ as their Lord and Savior.

As the days went by, the fruits of the Gospel also began to spring up in the local commmunities of Lilongwe and surrounding villages through 5 Jesus Film showings. We’ve seen an average of 500 people at each showing with the exception of one being almost 1,000 people. Each showing ended with nearly 50% of the people indicating new decision for Christ or a rededication of their lives to Christ. The Malawi Jesus Film staff have had the opportunity to go through follow up material with many of these new believers.

During our two weeks at the work site in Chimutu village, God has allowed us to take part in providing life changing blessings to the people. The first day of the project, during the church service, the borehole drilleres arrived to begin work on the well that would soon bring safe drinking water to the village and allow women and children who once walked a minimum of 2 Km to walk only 200 meters to get water. What an experience of joy to see in just under a week, land that was once dry and deserted now providing living water to hundreds of people. Along with the well, we’ve laid the foundation for 2 school blocks (4 classrooms) and each of us with our own hands placed cement and bricks to see the walls of the primary school rise to window level. As staff, we’ve taught several sessions on the basics of Christianity for village chiefs, women and children and done training for local church believers on how to share their faith through their personal testimony. The people of Chimutu are opening up to the message of salvation. Each chief has received a Bible and some have begun to ask spiritual questions.

There is less than a week remaining in the project but we’re certain that we have yet to see the end of the blessings God has in store for the village of Chimutu, and each of us. It’s an overwhelming privilege and honor to be a part of the first holistic Agape Italia team being sent to the world to share the message of Christ and minister to people’s physical intellectual and spiritual needs. We want to see leaders developed at every level of involvement and multiplication of being a blessing one to another begin to take place. This is the reason to be involved in ministry in Italy as the vision becomes a reality. At the end listen to something that has been repeated over and over this month by local church leaders and Life Ministry staff. “ Don’t let the Italians get all the blessings.”

Holistic Movements to reach communities with the Gospel everywhere

2008-07-03T11:32:00.001-05:00

if you buy an international phone card you can call me at:

011 265 55 06498
this is my cell phone in malawi. I am 7 hours ahead of Mississippi and the same time as Italy.

Let the adventure begin... Malawi

2008-07-03T10:28:00.002-05:00

It took me 3 days to get here and I came very close to missing 2 flights but I made it. My luggage unfortunately got left in Washington DC so it took a couple days to arrive. Things have been very busy since I arrived last Saturday afternoon. Malawi is very different than the others places I've been in Africa. Even though it is the 6th poorest country in the world there is much development in the capital city. The gap between the rich and the poor here is beyond what you can imagine. I've seen many humanitarian groups, missionaries,etc in these last couple of days in the capital but very few venture out into the villages for long. Just over 20km outside of town there is a different reality. Poverty so intense you can't help but be changed in an instant. Though I've been in this environment several times before I pray it never becomes common to me, that it never stops compelling me to action and that I would cease to praise God every second for the abundance of blessings He has poured out in my life. I have been given more than I could hope for and I admit that more of than I would like I live life to the fullest in a material way. On Monday I went to see the place where we will build the 2 school classrooms and well for the school. It's going to be oneof the only actual buildings in the area. The areas government rep. is so serious about the need to educate this young generation so that they might help themselves that he built 2 classrooms with his own money. These young ones are the hope of Africa but I'm seeing that without education they have no hope for escaping the bonds of poverty here. We talked with several of the small children and asked them about school and if they attend. Many said yes they went to the school that is currently in our building location but several others told us they did not go because they have no money for the uniforms. The church we are working with has a vision to help these children. In the very same place we are building the primary school they are praying for a junior high and a medical clinic to be built in the coming years. They are praying for it to become a hub for the 20 surrounding villages where they can come and get the education and help they need. The pastor went with us on Monday to the building site and he told the children in their language that we are going to build them a school so that their brain could become smarter. They began to shout, "I want it, I want it!" and raise their hands. What a picture of desire. These children long for what they cannot have. I'm praising God that he has given me such an opportunity to come and be apart of these children's future. Like every place I go these children have captured me. They are fascinated with the color of my skin here in malawi but be it a smile or a handshake I want to love them closer to Christ. They are also so much fun to be around and watch their fearlessness as children.

I've been reading mostly in Romans 4 about how Abraham hoped against hope, how he didn't weaken in his faith when he considered his age and the bareness of Sarah's womb. I often times wonder if I have this same faith andI really believe God to these depths. verse 20 & 21 have become two of my favorites.It says no distrust made him waver concerning the promise of God, but he grew strong in his faith as he gave glory to God, fully convinced that God was able to do what he had promised. If only I had an ounce of the faith of Abraham. Not only did he not
lose hope, weaken in his faith or waver in the promises, he grew strong and fully convinced of the promises of God. This can only be God. Abraham knew God and had experienced God in a way that I have yet to. I long to grow strong in my faith as well like Abraham and not just say I'm convinced that God can do what he promises but actually believe it. So often I can say I have this faith but deep down I know I'm not completely believing Him for everything in my life whether it be support for staff, Italian students coming to Christ, getting married one day or that He has the perfect plan for my life. I know this because there is often times doubt, fear or anxiety that I experience. Pray with me that I would have a faith like Abraham had and that you would as well. Our God is an awesome God and he reigns. He is able to do more than I could ever ask or imagine. That I would honor Him with my belief of His promises towards me as His beloved daughter.

and the vision becomes reality...

2008-06-26T01:33:00.002-05:00

It's 1:30 a.m. the night before I leave for my 4th mission trip in Africa and as I pack I'm thinking about the reality of what's about to take place. For almost five years now, I've casted vision in countless letters, talks, meetings, etc. for Italians to one day be sent out to take the Gospel to the world. I'm realizing that maybe I never 100 % believed that I would see the day when this took place. The spiritual ground is so tough in Italy and tilling up the soil is harder than I could have ever imagined. Over a year ago I began to develop an even more specific vision for ways to foster God's work in the lives of hungry Italians. The Lord has made me with some pretty specific interests and passions. Serving others and reaching out to those utterly forgotten in this world is something I run after for. I believe many Italians have this same heart and I asked myself some time ago how we could connect on this point that would one day lead to them hearing how the love of Christ has changed my life. Though our hearts are driven in the same direction I believe our motivations are perhaps pretty different. Of course serving others and helping them fills me with some pretty unexplainable joy but that's not my main motivation. The love that Christ has poured out in my life is what spurs me on to love and good deeds. I long for those we help and the Italians who come along to see this motivation.

All this to say I dreamt of a day when we as Agape Italia could go with Italians to the nations. In my mind this dream most likely wouldn't be realized during my time in Italy. But tonight I'm thinking about how insane it is that in just over a year from when I first got excited about this idea I'm seeing it take place before my very eyes. All the vision I've been casting to potential supporters and supporters for five years is now, as of today, a reality. Italians are being sent out to take the Gospel to the nations. WOW!! I'm amazed. It hasn't happened in the sequence of events I'd expected or even with the people I'd thought of but it's happening. Five Italians have heard the call and have taken the leap of faith to come with us to Malawi, Africa for three weeks to take part in a humanitarian mission trip. God is so good and faithful. Though I doubted him more times than I'd care to admit and considered quitting more times than you know I'm still here. He's allowed me to be a part of salvation history taking place in Italy. What a blessing and a privilege. Oh that my faith were greater, that I would boldly ask for more of Him and more from Him. Tomorrow begins a new day in our Italian ministry that is remarkably different than each of the others before. Pray with us as we embark on this new step in the journey to see Italians come to know the salvation of Christ.

My mom and I in Italy

2008-02-10T15:30:00.001-06:00

My mom came back with me in January and spent 12 days here meeting my friends and seeing some new cities. Here are a couple fun pics.

God of this City... Florence

2008-02-10T12:36:00.000-06:00

I recently heard a new song by Chris Tomlin that really struck me as I'm in the middle of a transition to a new Italian city, Florence. About five years ago, I spent a good bit of time talking to students about Christ on the Univ. of Florence campuses and I experienced the depth of hte hardness of the soil there. There was much resistance to hearing about Christ or anything to do with religion. Last week, I spent my first day back on these Florence campuses in nearly 4 years. My team walked the campuses and prayed all day for the students, the administration and the upcoming semester. I am hopeful that God is going to move among these students though I don't know the day or the time when this will visibly happen. Right now God is working behind the scenes in the hearts of students, professors and people of influence. He is orchestrating divine appointments between believers and those who are searching. Many days each of us here can feel and believe the lies that God is not working, that we are wasting our time and that these students will never come to a knowledge of Christ. But as I listen to the words of this song I take hope in the God of all power who is able to do more than we could ever ask or imagine. He is worthy of my life and the calling He has placed on it is one of imesurable value. The words of the song go like this:

You're the God of this city, you're the King of these people, you're the Lord of this nation, you are, you're the light in this darkness, You're the hope to the hopeless, You're the peace to the restless, you are. There is no one like our God! There is no one like our God! For greater things have yet to come, and greater things are still to be done in this city. Greater things have yet to come and greater things are still to be done in this city. Great things have yet to come and greater things are still to be done in this city. There is no one like our God! There is no one like our God! We believe. We believe. Greater things have yet to come and greater things are still to be done in this city.

Lost on a Train...It's possible.

2008-01-16T16:32:00.000-06:00

It was already a long day and all I wanted to do was get home, eat something and then lay in my bed but there was another plan. A friend and I huffed it to the station to make the same train as my friend at 4 p.m. We glanced at the destination sign adn yes it was where I wanted to go so I hopped on. But then we sat there for a good 10 mins or so. I decided to look out and check that sign one more time. Yes, it was still my destination. The train filled up with people and finally we left the station. I started reading, listenign to music and praying to process the day. The train stops weren't really interesting me though I did see that one was a usual so I thought ok I'm good. But after a while when I was the last peson in my train car and only a few men left in the others I checked my watch and knew I should have been there by now. The next stop was definitely not on the regular route so I started to panic a little. I called my roommate nad told her I was lost on the train. She thought I was joking until I said it's pitch black outside, I have no idea where I am and I am one of hte last people left on here. I got off at the next station and saw the I was in Siena...not anywhere near Pisa. I quickly saw a train back to where I'd just come from so I bought a ticket then ran like I haven't run in years to catch it. The train conductor jus smiled when I walked up to him to validate my ticket because I could talk I was so out of breath. Ha! I need some exercise. Back on the train all the way back to Empoli where I just happened to make the connection to the fast train back to Pisa. An hour trip took me 4 hours tonight. I think in some strange way it was the Lord making sure I had time that I could devote just to Him. To sit before Him and grieve or talk about what I was feeling and then to spend time in His Word hearing from His perspective on it all. Though the extra time wasn't fun meeting God in that way was pretty cool.

Christmas Pics

2008-01-11T16:47:00.000-06:00

My Family on Christmas

me and my younger brother, Brent

me and my older brother, Alex

Will you model for me???

2007-12-05T05:07:00.001-06:00

It was mid afternoon in Florence and I was doing a little Christmas shopping after a meeting. As I walked out of a store an older man in his sixties quickly came walking up to me and asked "Will you model for me?". I was so caught off guard that I said "what??". He launched into a discourse about how I had the perfect form for a marble sculpture, my eyes were beautiful and I had a great face. He said "I'm an artist and I just look at the form so will you model for me?". I told him I didn't live here and I wasn't really interested. He insisted that he was a professor of art at the university and that he paid very well hourly. He asked if I lived in Florence and when I said no he asked if I came there often. I said not really. It was becoming awkward at this point. I said once again that I wasn't interested and that yes I too was an artist so I know what your talking about but still not interested. The next line was priceless..."Well I'm gay so you don't really have to worry about that". I tried to hold back the laughter. He asked what my job was in Italy and I told him I was a missionary that works with univeristy students. His reply was well Jesus was naked wasn't he so it shouldn't be a problem for you. You can do that too can't you. I have a gallery on the Ponte Vecchio that you can come and see my work was his next line. I said maybe next time I'm around I'll stop by. Not! He just couldn't believe that I wasn't up for modeling nude for a marble sculpture of me that may or may not be displayed for a bazillion tourists to see everyday on Ponte Vecchio. Lastly has asked for my number and well... I panicked. I had no way out without being super rude. So yes I lied, the Lord forgive me, that I didn't have a cell phone. I said Pisa was a small place and well you just see everyone all the time. He couldn't believe that. So I said you just give me yours and Lorenzo is his name for those interested. Before we parted ways he said you're not going to call are you because you have too much else to do. I kindly said Ciao and hurried away still in disbelief at what just took place. Oh the every day life of living in a foreign country.

To the ends of Italy- Irsina and Matera

2007-12-05T05:06:00.000-06:00

The morning started early for us as the rest of the Salerno team slept in. Walking the silent, empty streets of Italy in the morning is one of my favorite things. You can soak it all in uninterrupted; the architecture, vintage signs, and one or two elderly early risers going for a walk. We arrive to the station just in time and quickly grab some breakfast before jumping on the train. Our trip wasn't super planned which is how I like it. This provides a little more adventure or in some cases trouble. An hour and a half past and soon we were at the Potenza Centrale station. Since we couldn't locate a bus schedule on the internet we figured we'd just ask when we got there. Well, seems there are no buses on Sunday. Haha. I sheepishly call our friends and they laugh and inform us also there are no buses. They tells us they will findd us a ride nad calls us back. 30 mins or so go byand I get a call from our friend's son, Pietro. He's coming to get us but it's a 40 min. drive. We are now regulars at the train station cafe that is filled with men constantly. They can't seem to figure out why foreigners would be here of all places. Time goes by and a sweet Italian guy walks in and asks if I'm Martina. It's Pietro. yeah! We grab our bags and we're off for a speedy drive through Basilicata to Irsina with Pietro and his brother, Saverio. We arrive just in time to all sit down for lunch then the boys rush off to the soccer match. Later that night Rosetta took us for a walk through town and into the old city of Irsina. The streets were filled with groups of cute old Italian men taking their 3rd walk of the day. You must know that the population of Irsina is about 3,000 and they all know each other. So immediately we are spotted and the whispering and questions begin. Our other feature that draws attention to our being foreigners is that we are seriously a foot or more taller than every single person in town. We were quite the talk of the town that night and for the days to come. Rosetta took us to see Rafaelle's mom while we were out as well as to eat panzerotti with her.We wrapped up the night with a trip to the pizzeria for dinner at about 10:30, which is totally normal here.

Monday-

We slept in a little then headed up for breakfast with Rosetta and her mother who also lives downstairs. She made us delicious cappuccinos and gave us sweets. Apparently cappuccino is not really considered you morning cafe, too much milk maybe not sure. So it was followed by a simple cafe. Amanda and I headed out for a walk through the historic old town and to take some pics. The low lying fog was rising though the valleys as we looked down from the city wall and it was beautifully breathtaking. Words cannot do it justice nor can pictures. We walked back to the house for lunch then hang out time speaking Italian with grandma, this was a language immersion trip for us. Some friends came over to visit then we ventured out again before a late night dinner and visit with some of their friends.

Tuesday-

After breakfast with the family and a stroll through town and lunch Amanda and I headed out to Matera. We made a split second decision to go and I'm glad we did. We'll definitely have to go back when there are more daylight hours. Teh bus was crazy curvy getting there so Amanda was sick most of the time. Once we arrived we asked hte bus guys how to get where we wanted nad he gave us a free ride to the panorama of the Sassi, which is where the Passion of the Christ was filmed. It was so beautiful. It looked just like it did in the movie. Afterwards we walked around town then grab a bus home in time for dinner.

The Sassi at night

The Sassi in Matera

Wednesday-

Up bright and early as we were going to tour the town today. Raffaele returned just after breakfast to take us to the local bakery where they make sweets specific to Irsina. Every region in Italy has different food plates and sweets as well as bread. We saw the works and then tasted most every cookie there. After the bakery, Raffaelo took us for a private tour of the cathedral built in the 1400s and to see the famous statue of St. Eufemia that will go to the Louvre next year. It was very simple but pretty inside. Filled with marble design work and beautifully carved statues. They even have a painnting of Christ from the 300s. The curent church is built on top of the old church, which you can still go see. We were unable to find the keys to get down there but upon leaving we ran into the priest. He told us to come back later and he would open it for us. The next stop was out to the country where we saw the family's country house, olive trees, and small patch of farm. We rushed back to the house for a full lunch then a quick cafe nad rest before more tours. Just after lunch Rafaelle took us and nonna to see the crypt at the church. It was quite amazing to stand under the current church were mass was held in the 1400s. I can only imagine the things those walls have seen. The next stop was just at the edge of the city where you will find water fountains that were once the clothes washing area for the entire town. Last on the tour stop was a trip down the hill from Irsina to see a few more archeological finds and to get a view of the city sittinng up on the hill just as sun was setting. Back to town and then dinner with the family. We enjoyed lamb rolls filled with chopped heart, liver, intestines, etc and lamb chops. It was quite the dinner. Off to bed

us at the cookie/bread factory

Thanksgiving Hilarity

2007-12-03T14:13:00.000-06:00

So you haven't really lived until you experience a Thanksgiving outreach in Italy. This year Amanda and I went to Salerno to help them with their student outreach. The Wednesday before Turkey day Mario and I spent the day making 14 pumpkin and pecan pies. Ricky made all the crusts from scratch. During the baking times, we passed the time by seeing what would explode the best off a 4th floor balcony. Tina, Amanda and I made the team dinner that night as well. Grilled cheese with cheddar straight from America accompanied by some warm tomatoe soup.

Turkey day arrived and I woke to the sound of green bean casseroles and sweeet potatoe pie being made. Yum! 5 of us us girls set off for the butchers to pick up the turkeys, of which they ordered 3. Our mouths dropped as the first bird or small dinosaur is hauled out. Yes, a whopping 17 kilos or 37lbs if you will. We're scared at this point! Birds 2 and 3 arrive and though slightly smaller weigh in at 32-33lbs. each. The butcher, with a straight face, asks " so who's going to carry these?". To which we replied us of course and then he broke out in laughter. We called in the guys for reinforcement. The question also was asked so who's cooking these and where. To which again we replied us and at home....laughter continues. We hike uphill for 5 mins with these birds until we meet 2 of the guys. Mario, Rick and I carried the birds about 10-15 mins uphill through Salerno drawing many stares. Once we arrived, we surveyed the insanity. Local pizzeria friends agreed to cook one of the turkeys in their big oven while we would cook one at home and the third we would have to carry about 30-40 mins. across town to our friends hotel. The cleaning, de-feathering, and seasoning began. DUring this time Tina, Katherine and I went on a potatoe peeling spree. I think we went through 5 bags. This provided hours of entertainment and laughter for us all.

Turkey 1 Nina- Katherine and I locate a pan and drop this big bird wrapped in foil on it. We're praying it fits in the guys oven. Well.... we try to shove it in and the sides of the oven that hold the racks start to fall off. Panic erupts as the bird begins to fall. The the bird drops. Ah!!! Plan B- yell for Mario and he takes out the side racks with a screwdriver then we find something to raise the bird up just off the oven coils. After about 10 mins and several attempts, the bird is in. I think it was touching every side and the top of the oven.

Turkey 2 Santa Maria- Piece of cake. Amanda and Mario put all 37lbs. of it in a bag then drop it in a rolling suitcase and head across town to the restaurant. Yes, turkey in a suitcase, we're very creative.

Turkey 3 Pinta-my favorite. Katherine and I threw the bird in a giant black garbage bag then layed it in the guys laundry basket. It looks like a corpse at this point. We started out for a good 15 min. slow walk down to the bus stop. The laundry basket hurt so bad that we each had to wear one winter glove. We looked like completed weirdos. We arrived just in time to catch the bus. We each grabbed a handle and load the bird onto the bus. At this point, we are drawing some serious stares. Finally, we arrived to the port where we needed to change buses but sadly our new bus was packed full, no room for 2 girls and a raw bird. There was some discussion then a crazy rash decision to just walk down the ocean boardwalk to the hotel carrying this bird. It was a serious 20 min walk and we had to keep switching sides because of the basket cutting the circulation to our hands off. Yes, we see it, the hotel. Our friend's dad meets us outside and he is very happy to help. He calls his wife, who is not quite all there, and she refuses at first but dad insists. She accompanies us into the kitchen where she takes one look at the bird and says it's too big and gives it a big slap. She then points wildly and says "but I can give you the microwave". Katherine and I exchange looks of sheer laughter inside and are you freakin kidding me, a microwave! We kindly refuse, as the bird is 4 times the size of the microwave and who cooks a turkey in a microwave?? She keeps saying their oven is only for delicate things like croissants not turkeys and continues to slap the bird. A distress call was made back to the guys apartment. We didn't know where to cook the bird and we refused to carry it another 40 mins back across town. After much awkwardness, we left with the bird and stood on the curb by the main street wonderinng what to do. All of a sudden, I look at Katherine and say TAXI. hahaha. sheer laughter at this point erupts. We make the needed calls and get a taxi. While we're waiting we decided to talk about what we were thankful for in hopes that it would cover over our frustrations. In conclusion, we load the turkey in the taxi, never telling the driver just what's in the basket. We arrive at home and within an hour our restaurant friends tell us to bring it over. They ended up cooking one in the normal oven then they put this one in the wood burning pizza oven.

All ended well. We came out with 105l bs. of yummy turkey and 80 students attended the outreach adn were able to hear about God's free invitation to salvation through Jesus Christ and having a personal relationship with God. It was a success!

Caserta and Language Learning

2007-12-03T13:30:00.000-06:00

I left Pisa on Nov. 15th after another brief ER visit. Amanda and I headed for Caserta to spend a few days with friends and do a language immersion. From the moment we arrived I felt at home. I absolutel ylove the community of believers there. They have become like family to me. On that Friday night, we went to prayer at the church then a whole group of the college students and adults went out for pizza. I had such a great time getting to build deeper relationships with the girls over dinner. I love getting to live part of my life with them. I desire for each of these youth to really walk with God for a lifetime and to learn what the true life of a believer looks like. It's not just about knowledge of the Bible or going to church but about being a light for Christ in a country that has strayed far from Christ.

This is me and Mena. She is a single mom with a great son Antonio.

On Saturday we spent time with Mena, one of our many Italian moms. She took us shopping then afterwards we headed back to the church to prepare dinner for after the ministry meeting. This night we learned about all the ministries in the church adn how you could be a part of them. I am amazed at all the things they are involved in. This is very rare in Italy. i had a long talk with the pastor about our work and how much they appreciate us. I thank God for htis partnership withthe church here. Afterwards we enjoyed some yummy pasta fagiolo and then headed out to town with some of the college kids. Once again more time to really invest and live life with these kids who have no one to look to in following Christ. It was a fun but cold night of taking a walk and drinking hot chocolate.

Sunday we went to church where we got to see everyone else we hadn't yet seen. I just love going to church here. Lunch was in typical Italian style. We went to a local rustic restaurant where we proceeded to have a 4 course and 3 hour lunch. I enjoyed getting to meet new people at the church. They are such a blessing in my life. A couple hour nap followed lunch then we headed off to Naples. SO much fun!!! I love Naples. We got a great tour of the city and played games in one of the piazzas. We ate sfoglias just baked and pizza slices later followed by croissants with nutella. Yes we're geting fat. Then we headed back to Caserta at midnight. I thank God every day for the provision of the believers in Caserta.

Losing Focus

2007-11-05T10:15:00.000-06:00

I recently got back from our Agape Fall Retreat in the mountains above Florence. While I was headed to the conf. on the train, bus,etc. I realized I left my new 80gb Ipod on the train. It took me a day to realize I didn't have it. I think I was so distracted and concentrated on the conference and falling down the train stairs that I forgot it. I clearly remember packing it and then taking it out on the train to listen to it and then leaving it in the seat when I was gathering luggage. I noticed late Friday night when I was about to listen to some music that it was gone. It was strange but I wasn't really that upset. Something in me kept saying you should be really mad. This should ruin your weekend...cast a shodow over it all...draw you away from why you really came to the conf. But I felt like God was trying to show me something about how I've been living my life and what I've been focusing on these last few weeks. The focus has certainly not been the Lord and growing in my walk with Him. As I work on 100% l language here in Pisa there is ample time for the enemy to draw you away and to whisper in your ear that you are missing out on some of the things the world says are important or are worth having. For some stupid reason I've unknowingly been draw into thinking I need all these new cool electronic things over here...like a new video camera, new ipod speakers because what I already have just isn't up to speed and it's not good enough. Little did I realize these things had secretly come into my life and drawn me away from Christ, my true treasure. How come I don't see that what I have of Christ is too little and what I know of Him isn't enough??? Why do I not think I'm behind the times in growing closer to Him ???...because I am. What I have of Christ in my life is out of date. So from Friday until late Sunday night I felt a huge conviction and I felt sad because I let things of this world take the place Christ should have in me. I know it may not seem like a big deal to think about electronics,etc. but I believe God uses the most random things sometimes to open our eyes to how far off track we've gotten. So instead of feeling mad over the loss of the ipod I started praying for the person that found it. That they would listen to the music and that they would know Christ in their life. I prayed that I would become a better steward of the things God has given me and that my focus would come back to Christ. That I would daily see how little of Him I really have and how much of Him I really need to live moment to moment. Fastforward to last night, Sunday. I checked both customer assistance offices in Florence and Pisa to see if some really nice Italian found it. The train staff all laughed in my face. I was talking to my parents on the phone and telling them what I was feeling and what I think God was trying to teach me through all of this. As I was talking to my mom, I started unmaking my bed to go to sleep when I pulled back the covers and and great gasp and holy crap came out of my mouth. There laying right in my face was the Ipod. My mom started laughing. I thought I was losing my mind because I KNOW I tok it with me in my luggage and pulled it out on the train. I can't explain it but I just might be going crazy. All that to say that God was teaching me to regain focus and He wanted to see if I really knew what was most important in my life when things are taken away. I'm sure this will not be the last time He does something crazy like this to show me where my focus has gone and to get my attention. Are there things in your life that you are unknowingly letting rob you of your focus on Christ? What are those things? Have you really taken time to evaluate where your focus is today?

2 days in Santa Chiara Hospital... oh joy

2007-10-04T17:24:00.000-05:00

Last week, I got pretty violently sick. Throwing up, sever pains, nausea...the works. I called my mom at 4 a.m. Italy time telling her I was dying. She didn't love hearing that news. Told her I was getting pretty dehydrated. Thought I could make it until sunup then head to the ER. Seven a.m. arrived and I was half dead at this point so I woke up my roommate to take me to the er. I could barley walk at this point for lack of fluids. Got to the er at 7:15 and we were in pretty fast. I was lined up in the hall on a gurney for a five foot tall person. They only have like 3 rooms in the er so everyone is lined up in the hallways and one area up front. I got an iv that hurt like heck and they ordered some x-rays and sonogram. Meanwhile I got pain meds. but still kept throwing up. I was in the fetal position with nausea and pain. You would think fluids and nausea meds would be a first but nope. None. Waited in the hall butted up next to some other lady's gurney. Finally the tests. I get rolled back up front where I am now butted up next to 4 other gurneys. I could have crawled off the end of the gurney to go throw up but they put three gurney cross ways at the end of ours. psycho at this point. then all the 4 different types of ambulances keep arriving with more people. Some girl comes in with a cut hand and they sow her up in the hallway as she stands at the medical cart. Two super cute doctors arrive so things get a little better at least to look at. One of them talks to me and orders more pain meds. He just keeps walking by. Then another dr. comes over. Still no nausea meds or fluids after 2 hours and just feeling worse. Saw the cute guy one more time and he ordered more pain meds. Nice guy. Got a new IV in my other arm since the first lady messed up the other one. After almost 4 hours they move me to a room. The route was quite fun. A man who looks like he should be on Hannibal Lecter came to wheel me through the building. We pass through he laundry room and supply room and arrive at my room. My roommate is like a 100 yrs. old. I was told I would get meds and fluids now as soon as the dr. came. So after 2 more hrs. of waiting and my teammate yelling at the nurses. Nothing. She went home to get my clothes, etc. Two more hours in the fetal position pass and now the sickness has moved to the lower stomach so I'm in the bathroom every 5 mins. Misery! The roommate comes back and finds the garbage cart left in my room with dirty smelly diapers. Just what you when when you are nauseated. She moves the cart and gets yelled at that visiting hours are over. I think they hate her by this point. She leaves. Finally after 6 hours a Dr. shows up and gives me some pain med orders and a nausea shot. The nurses don't talk and aren't nice. At 8 p.m. after 12 1/2 hours I finally get iv fluids after being dehydrated since the night before. I couldn't even pick up a bottle of water at this point. My teammates come by and then sleep time. Except nurses are in and out all night. Everyone asks me if I have a fever. I'm like I don't know you got the thermometer. Apparently, you are suppose dot bring one with you and take your temp every 2 hours for them. I am in the bathroom and have to get meds from the nurse every time I go to the bathroom. Another really nice Dr. comes at 1 a.m. Then they take my blood at 3 a.m. No sleep in 2 days but the night nurses are awesome. At about 8 a.m. I get 12 sticky things attached to me for an EKG. They loves doing those here. It's like taking your bp. Everyone gets one. Finally morning comes and a new dr. who says I can go home later but need a liquid diet for 3 days. So I wait to be dismissed for hours. I ask everyone when can I go. Each nurse says um not sure when they get your papers done. Finally at 3 p.m. I ask the new nurse who says this are your dismissal papers we were just waiting on you. AHH. She comes and yanks out the iv with no gloves mind you while the ambulance people transfer the old lady. The nurse asks you think hospitals in America are better. I said yeah some things to which she responds no I'm telling you they are better. HAHA.I shuffle out of the hospital and there are no taxis available. So I have to walk to Jim's house and he takes me home on the scooter. I feel like crap again at this point. So I am in my bed sleeping for days living on Gatorade, water and sweet teas. The pounds are dropping off. I developed a blood clot in my arm from the iv. Fun times. Still trying to start back eating. The energy is still low and I can't eat much food. But I can't complain I guess. It was all FREE!!!

How to get an x-ray in Italy

2007-10-04T17:09:00.000-05:00

Recently I've had a couple of encounters with the Italian health care system. The adventures were just too good not to share. I can't imagine if we went to a social system in the states. yikes. The first adventure was about mid-Sept. I had been to the doctor in Florence and he asked me to get some x-rays done. He told me to just do them in Pisa then fax him over the results. So I headed off one day to the hospital looking to get an x-ray. I had already been once and was told I need to go to the guarda medica to get a new prescription. ON this day I was looking for the guarda medica..whatever that is. I wandered around for about 10 mins inside the mass of buildings then asked the security guard. He told me "oh it's far from here.. started to give specific directions then said just go that way and pointed to the left." I started walking to the left with no luck. I looked for people to ask..no one. Finally I asked some cleaning ladies who took me to the quinta medical building. Apparently, my accent sucks and they thought I said quinta not guida. Anyway, a bust. Off to look for another smart person to ask. I went into the neurology building and yet again no one to be found. I wandered around and a middle aged well dressed man walked by. Five mins. later he walked back by and saw my desperation/frustration. I had been wandering for an hour by this time. He asked if I needed help. I said yes and told him what I was looking for. Again quinta medical....AHH!! He asked if I knew where I was at that moment. YES!! Neurology. Then he asked my problem. He took me up to his office and we chatted for a while. He looked at my foot. We discussed medicare in America, the social health system,etc. He ended up calling over to the er for me and telling them i was coming over. He wrote me out a prescription to give them. All this from a neurosurgeon. I arrived at the ER and talked to the triage nurse. She was confused why a neurosurgeon would order foot x-rays. ha. I told her he was a friend to which he response was oh great why didn't you say that. So it is all about who you know around here and probably how cute you are as well. So the ER lady prints me out an x-ray order then I walk back to the other side of the hospital and get lost in the orthopedic dept. building. Finally, a lady takes me to the place I need to be. I talk to the radiology tech guys. I see a dr. pretty fast who tells me he thinks there's no fracture but man my feet are awful. They've got to hurt. I told him yes they always do I was born with the problem in my joints. It has now been 2 1/2 hours and finally I get an x-ray. NO fractures.. Yeah!! But still pain. He wants me to see the specialist. I walk the maze back out of the hospital and am a block away when I hear a whistle. I think oops maybe I was supposed to pay or forgot something so I walk back to the radiology tech guy. This is my fave part. He says..um do you think I could get your number and we could hang out sometime. I was so shocked/surprised that I lost my mind and actually gave it to him. No sooner than I got home(30mins) he sent a msg. saying I would have asked you out tonight but I already have dinner plans. If it ends early can we hang out. AH... This was the start to excessive texts and phone calls. Had to brutally end that relationship.

Back in Pisa in Italiano

2007-09-19T17:46:00.000-05:00

Sto pensando di scrivere qualcosa in Italiano solo per divertente. Io non scrivo perfetto o benissimo ma al minimo provo. Questo post è solo per me stesso perche devo praticare a scrivere e pensare tutto in Italiano. Io uso troppo Inglese e voglio imparare meglio la mia seconda lingua. Allora....Sono ritornata a Pisa il 5 Settembre e sono stata malissima con un male di gola e un grande stanchezza. Ho viaggiato troppo quest'estate. Sono stata nella casa mia solo 12 gironi in quasi quattro mesi. Cmq sono contenta di essere a casa per un po di tempo. Ma Pisa è troppo tranquila in questi giorni perche tutti gli studenti stanno studiando per gli esami ancora. Penso che le lesione comminciano fra due settimane. Ora sto lavarando un po a casa e sto studiando Italiano. Voglio che vado a letto un notte e poi quando mi sveglia la prossima mattina saro la lingua perfettamente ma questa è impossibile. Vediamo... La storia continua. Basta sono stanca e ora vado a dormire. Buona Notte Amici.

Vacation

2007-08-27T07:52:00.000-05:00

After 3 months of moving, traveling, living in suitcases, camps, etc. etc. I'm taking a little vacation. Some good friends from all over are flying into Rome to travel with me. I've been staying at a friend's apartment in Rome for 4 days now. The last of our group arrives tonight and early tomorrow morning we'll head out driving for Salerno. We'll be staying at another friend's apartment in Salerno for a couple of days before driving way south to the Calabria region. We'll be driving along the A3 (interstate), which runs down the western coast of Italy. We have about a 6 1/2 hour drive so we'll be stopping at all the little towns along the coast for some photo shoots and stretch time. The day will end at Reggio Calabria where we hope to have dinner with a couple of my Italian friends. On the 31st we'll take the car ferry over to Sicily and head for Palermo and Taormina. I've never been to Sicily so I am excited to see it and hear some of the dialect I learned at camp. I have had numerous friends from Sicily over the years and they all say you MUST go. On Sept. 2, my 26th birthday woohoo!!, we'll be doing an 8 hour drive back to Salerno. Hopefully we'll get there early enough for a birthday dinner an hang out time. Sept. 3 the day ends back in Roma and the others get ready to head home. Pray for safe travels, lots of fun, and good health as we drive all over. I'll be back in Pisa Sept. 5th ready to start up the fall semester!!!

St. Peter's Cathedral in Roma. This was taken at night through the rows of columns.

2007-08-25T08:50:00.000-05:00

Near the end of the camp students were challenged to give their lives to Christ and develop a greater passion for reaching Italy.

Passione per La Nazione- Passion for the Nation

2007-08-25T06:22:00.000-05:00

Week 2 of Camp...Well it feels like we've been here an eternity all ready after last week. This week we get to be actual campers and enjoy a little more relaxed time. On Sunday afternoon, I moved out of my sweet Bungalow on the hill and back down to civilization. Lunch was a fun time but sad in that I had to say goodbye to all my girls. Though the week started out rocky it ended on a super high. I was really sad to leave them. But we remain in contact on messenger.

So onto the second week. The theme for this week was

Passione per La Nazione...Passion for the Nation.

Isaiah 12:2 says "Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust, and will not be afraid; for the Lord God is my strength and my song, and he has become my salvation."

The week started out with a little timidity as I knew no one coming and we're were now just one of the campers. It was up to us to meet new people and makes friends. The excitement of meeting young Italian believers pushed me to overcome my fears of feeling inadequate in language and awkward in entering into existing friend groups. I'll admit it was hard, at times my feelings were hurt and I considered pulling away from trying. I continued to pray and ask God to create bridges for me into the lives of these Italian students. After a few days, I began to meet people and develop friendships with people from all over South Italy. I loved it! The environment was such a change from life in Pisa where we have little to no Italian believing community. Each morning began with a praise and worship time under the big oak tree followed by a time of teaching from the Bible. We heard talks on true worship, discipleship, Christian relationships, and the importance of having a believing community in your life. Just before lunch everyone split into small groups to discuss several questions on the talk from that morning. This was one of my favorite times. Normally in this setting I almost panic at having to talk in front of a group of strangers in Italian and express my thoughts/ideas. But the Lord heard my request and granted me boldness in speaking. I felt like there was a real breakthrough in my language and in my ability to enter into ongoing discussions.

Lunch was crazy to say the least. Picture a small room with rows of long picnic tables stuffed with people age 18-27. Now create the sound of pounding on tables and chanting in your head. I Barese primo nemico....Siamo noi siamo noi. Add in some serious clapping and you've got lunch time as well as dinner. Complete chaos but none the less fun!

Afternoons were spent playing soccer, volleyball, and other games on the beach. This was a time to build relationships with the students. Many of them were growing Christians but there were just as many non-believers or those whose lives hadn't really experienced a change. I got to meet several girls Roberta, Anna, Antoinetta, Manu, etc. and talk with them about their faith. Many of the students from the Caserta church we are working with were there so I got to spend good time with them. I feel like were able to connect more with Caserta and strengthen our friendship with them.

Dinner was around 7 each night followed by a time of amazing praise and worship lead by Paolo. It was one of the first times I felt like I could connect with God and truly worship Him in a second language. It wasn't just singing Italian words anymore. A heart connection developed and I even began to pray more in Italian. If you've never tried to be fully immersed in a second language it's hard to understand these struggles but trust me they are huge hurdles God has allowed me to cross over time. I felt renewed and refreshed each night.

Salvatore, from the Caserta church, gave a talk after the praise time. He spoke on several topics and shared the Gospel each night. Many students gave their lives to Christ or decided to allow Christ to take control rather than them. It was so encouraging to see God working so visibly in Italy. Over time I've noticed my vision and passion for Italy starting to shrink. I know the enemy is at work trying to discourage me and the rest of us laboring here in Italy. He tells us lies that we are wasting our time, nothing will ever happen here, you'll never see Italians lives changed, and you'll never learn the language. Daily we fight these lies because we have a greater hope in Christ. He says His Word will not go out in vain. Through his power alone we are able to resist the enemy and his lies to discourage us. This camp was just the encouragement I needed. I saw Italians get on their knees before God and offer up their lives to Him. A challenge was given to each of them to develop a passion for the nation of Italy. Many committed their lives to spreading the good news of Christ's love and salvation in Italy. I have a picture in my mind from this day that will remain there for eternity as an encouragement. God is at work in Italy in bigger ways than we can see or imagine. It's about faith in the One that is bigger than us.

I always go back to Habakkuk :

1:5 "Look among the nations, and see; wonder and be astounded. For I am doing a work in your days that you would not believe if told. "

2:3" For still the vision awaits it's appointed time; it hastens to the end-it will not lie. If it seems slow, wait for it; it will surely come; it will not delay."

Italian Church Camp- Camp Counselor

2007-08-20T07:27:00.001-05:00

Ciao Friends & Family,

Just dropping a line to let you all know I am still alive over here in Italy. I spent the first two weeks of August working at a christian church camp in south Italy. We didn't have any phone or Internet access so I have been MIA for quite some time now. We were in the very toe of the country in the region of Calabria. The landscape there is very different from Tuscany but I loved it. Each morning, I got to see the rugged mountains, hear or see the daily wildfires, or enjoy the beautiful ocean. The goal of the first week of camp was for the four of us Agape staff to serve the church and camp in whatever ways they needed. Turns out that I got assigned to be a camp counselor with two of my friends, Magdi and Paolo. So I moved up the hill away from the rest of the Americans and into my little Bungalow for the week. I was really excited about the week but anticipated that it would be a real challenge for me. I started out being the counselor for 6 girls then we increased to 9. My mornings started at 6:20 with personal time then a counselor meeting and prayer time at 7:30. That's when my Italian speaking began and continued throughout the day until we went to bed around 3:00 a.m each night. I spoke a max of about 10 mins. of English each day so between rounding up 12-15 yr. old crazy girls and speaking a second language I was tired. But the Lord provided some great girls to help me and good support from the other counselors. I knew the Lord placed me in this environment to teach me some things and to strip me of my comforts. I had to swallow my pride and humble myself before the others to ask for help with the language, the girls,etc. every two minutes. I saw that I need to trust God more to provide for me. I need to see that He always has my best interest in mind even when I think He's given me something crazy to do. But in the end I LOVED the camp and the girls. My Italian improved rapidly and so did my ability to understand different dialects and accents. I wish it could have lasted longer than a week. I was blessed beyond measure in ministering to the girls, praying with them, crying with them, and living daily life alongside them. My vision for Italy youth has increased ten fold and I was encouraged by what God is doing in South Italy. We saw 3 students receive Christ that week and many more begin to let down walls to wrestle with God about the things going on inside them. Please pray for the students that attended the camp that their experience wouldn't just last for a couple weeks but that their relationship with Christ would be their rock for eternity. Pray specifically for my camper Samuela who accepted Christ. It is a baby step for her and she has much growing to do. Pray that she would fervently seek Christ as her supplier and fulfiller rather than the things the world has to offer.

Thank you thank you thank you for allowing me to be a part of something so huge going on in S. Italy. Without you some 40 junior high Italian boys and girls wouldn't know about the possibility of a personal relationship with Christ, the transforming power of the Holy Spirit, God's unconditional love for them, or the freedom that he comes to offer the captives. Thank you for helping me to be a part of the spiritual journey of Italian youth and pour out God's love on them daily. May God richly bless each one of you.

Below this post are pictures of the girls in my Bungalow for the week. They were so much fun!!!

2007-08-20T07:22:00.000-05:00

Me and Samuela

2007-08-20T07:14:00.000-05:00

Mimma and Me

Ilaria

2007-08-20T07:09:00.000-05:00

Sara and Lidia

2007-08-20T07:07:00.000-05:00

Sonya and Miriam

2007-08-20T07:03:00.000-05:00

me and Elisa

2007-08-20T07:00:00.000-05:00

Me and Claudia

On the Move

2007-05-31T07:43:00.000-05:00

Now that our summer plans have been revised a little it looks like we'll be moving again. We're going to spend the month of June in Salerno disciplining the MLK students, following up new believers, and doing evangelism on campus. I am pumped about the time I get to spend with such great staff from the states this month and the much needed fellowship of the summer project students. At the end of the month my ICS team will move about an hour north to Caserta where we will live for July. In August, we will move to two different camps being hosted by this church. Our hopes during July are to build relationships with the students involved in the church at Caserta and lay a foundation for a Campus Crusade team to be placed there. The church in Caserta is a new model partnership for us. We are hoping to work together to build up a student movement to reach the university campus in Caserta and the surrounding campuses in Naples. During July we will also be checking out what is going on in Naples spiritually. We'll be asking questions such as: Are there any existing groups of believers?, are the students there just as fertile ground for the Gospel as Salerno students, etc. It will be a time of adventure and exploration. These are the things I thrive off of so I am excited to be leading this time. Pray for Caserta that the foundation for deep relationships with the students would be constructed before we arrive. Pray for our relationship with this church that we would be servants of them. The students will all be coming down to Salerno next week to spend time with the American summer project students to catch a vision for ministry. We are hoping to show them a picture that you can be young, fun, relatively normal and still be a revolutionary Christian that shares their faith.

MLK Group in Salerno

2007-05-28T12:39:00.000-05:00

So the first couple weeks or so here have been beyond hectic. As well all know we can plan and plan but things won't always go the way you planned. I've spent most of the time in meetings and figuring out just what our job as ICS looks like in Salerno this summer. I am excited to say that we actually have what looks like a schedule for us and our role has been more clearly organized. We met with the group of believers in Salerno, MLK, and talked with them about our desire to come alongside them. We talked with them about how we have a piece of the puzzle in reaching Italians for Christ and how they also possesses an important piece of the puzzle and the need to put these two pieces together. One of the pastors, Antonio, is completely on board. He has invited us to disciple/train the MLK group of believers for the next 4 weeks. We will meet on Mondays for training and time in the Word and on Wednesdays we will go out on campus to put into practice what they learned on Monday. There will be a time afterwards to talk about you experiences and ask questions. I am super excited about this partnership with MLK. Our desire is that they would be raised up to disciple other Italians that come to Christ through the stint team and summer project teams here in Salerno. Please pray for wisdom in teaching each week. Pray that we would be humble and show them we are not here to grow our name but rather to grow MLK into a powerhouse of evangelism and discipleship on the Univ. of Salerno campus. This Sunday Antonio has asked us to bring the entire summer project to the church and tell them about Campus Crusade for Christ and why we are here. Pray for clarity in our Italian speaking and that this church would catch a greater vision of reaching the world.

Monday in Salerno

2007-05-21T10:58:00.001-05:00

I slept much better last night which I am so thankful for. I actually feel a little rested today. Thank you for praying and please continue to do so. It has been a pretty low key day for my team. We spent a few hours driving and shopping at the Carrefou (Italian walmart) for the essentials i.e. toilet seat, shower rod, clothes rack, etc... I am thankful that's over & done and we can settle a little more in our house. Our landlady, Sarah, came over to meet the Davis' and give us more keys. She is very interested in what we do. She has talked ot us about how she see her friend really feeling and living her faith rather than it just being a ritual. Pray for her that she would come to a real realtionship with the Savior. One problem for our apt. is the water it has intermittent times of ice cold water with scorchingly hot water therefore showers are not the most entertaining. But overall the place is great. Such a blessing.

In the afternoon I had a meetinng with the leaders to talk about each of our roles for the summer. We are all really excited and have big visions for the minsitry in Italy. I walked away excited about the possibilities for this nation. This afternoon I may walk a little with the summer project kids to get to know them a little better and enojy much needed community.

Ahh! Mosquitoes!!!

2007-05-20T15:10:00.000-05:00

Ok so I'm sitting here writing these posts and putting up pics and I am realizing it's going to be one lonngggg summer. The mosquitoes here are insane maybe even worse than Pisa. The bad part is I have severe allergic reaction to them, they itch for weeks at a time and swell while leaving scars. So for me this is counting the cost a little!! I am currently getting eaten alive. I forgot to buy bugspray in the states and bring it back. It is ridiculously expensive here. That will be the first package I ask from my mom.

Salerno Arrival

2007-05-20T15:09:00.000-05:00

I arrived in Salerno two days ago and I have seen the answer to many of our prayers. We have a great apartment very close to the summer project. The rent is in our budget and we are going to be able to use the same free internet that the project gets. In light of that, I am going ot try and update my blog as often as possible. I haven't been very good about making it a priority but this summer I'd love to keep you update so that you can be praying with us day by day as we work here. I can't begin to tell you how excited I am about the opportunities the Lord has given us here this summer. We are going to be able to take part in so many different ministry environments. It's going to be busy the next 3 months but this is the lifestyle that I thrive off of. The Lord has placed this project in my path at just the right time. I am learning more and more that I really was created for change, challenge and to juggle 3 balls at onne time in my life. It's how I work the best.

There is one thing you can be praying for me specifically and that is my sleep. I often have active dreams that cause me to wake up feeling strange emotions or overwhelmed. Last night was one of the worst in a while. There was real panic and fear as I slept and when I woke up I was overwhelmed with unexplainable emotion. I am certain that it is attacks from the enemy to make me devoid of energy as we enter into such a busy and critical summer for our ministry. Please pray that the enemy wound be bound and that I would wake up rested each day. Pray this not only for me but also for each of my teammates/roommates this summer: Angela & Jim Davis, and Amanda Craig. Thank you for joining with us in praying.

2007-05-20T14:59:00.000-05:00

Asparagi anyone??? It's like grass it's so tall here.

2007-05-20T14:48:00.000-05:00

The lungomare in Salerno. Looks pretty in pics but there's a lots trash on those beaches!

2007-03-29T07:11:00.000-05:00

Can you guess what this is?

That's right Baby food and the ingredient is none other than horse. I just love the photo on the box. There is also a sheep variety in case horse just doesn't do it for you. MM Good!!

Slacker

2007-03-14T07:15:00.000-05:00

Yes slacker that is what you can call me right now. Things have been crazy busy around here. I'm just keeping my head above water getting things done or trying to get them done. I haven't posted in a while. I promise though I will do soon asap. This week we have a vision trip in from Ole Miss to do ministry with us for the week. I will have lots of stories by MOnday to share with all of you. So keep holding on and one day there will be a new post. If only if could do verbal posts that owuld type for me oh you'd be in luck.

2007-02-15T17:01:00.000-06:00

2007-02-15T16:57:00.000-06:00

2007-02-15T16:55:00.000-06:00

Permesso, Permesso, oh where are you??

2007-02-05T11:08:00.000-06:00

I just need to vent a little on some of our small frustrations in Italy. This morning we got up early on our Saturday off to head to the Questura (office for foreigners). It opened at 9:15. We were in high hopes of getting our permesso (a permit to stay in Italy) after 6 months of waiting. The doors were opened and piles of people already waited in line ahead of use when we arrived. Oddly they were moving rather quickly this morning which is super unusual here. A large sign is placed above one of the windows stating that only permessos before Sept. 12, 2006 are ready to be picked up. Amanda and I submitted our paperwork in the middle of August so were ready. Our turn at the window comes up and the lady loudly and with hand motions directs me to read the sign above her. I said I had read it and then she draws a big sign in the air with her hands and gives me a look. The look basically said "are you stupid, Look at your receipt the date is Sept. 29th. There was some miscommunication on the dates actually they told us the wrong thing. All that to say we have to wait two more weeks and hopefully they will be ready and one day this year we will get internet. We need this permesso to apply for residency which will allow us to get internet with the company we have chosen. The company told us before we couldn’t have internet with them because we were foreigners and didn’t have enough paperwork to be trusted. We would have to pay all two years worth of internet bills up front. Sounds fun huh. Funny thing about this is you are required by law to apply for a permesso within your first 7 days in country. You can only stay 3 months without a permesso. But you have to wait 6 months to get your permesso after you have applied. Something about these time lines doesn’t add up. I think a computer system might help the process tremendously. They do everything by hand and use an 11”x17” 1950’s log book to write appointments in. I think we’re a little behind the times here when my friends in Africa have DSL internet and it takes us 6 months to even get close to applying for internet services. I’ll end my ranting for now and say living Under the Tuscan Sun is not always so glorious.

Thoughts on the Gospel & Believing God

2007-01-19T09:42:00.000-06:00

It has been 2 weeks of deep thinking for me and seaching the depths of my own heart and mind in relation to the Gospel and my belief in God. Since September the main discussion and study of my team here in Italy has been the Gospel-what is it, who is it for, how do you communicate it, what does it have to offer that I do not. My frequent confession to my team was unbelief in the power of God to work here in Pisa, in such a dry and hard place. The height of the discussion came for me this week when a fellow teammate from Florence, Gary, came over to talk with us about the Gospel and evangelism. In my mind, doing evangelism means telling people about the Gospel of Christ. But I thought the greatest obstacle to doing that here in Italy was Italians disinterest, difficulty in meet students, language, etc. Never once did it fully cross my mind that I might be the main obstacle in communicating Christ with Italians. Gary posed the idea that there were 2 main barriers one being "language" and the other being "our own experiential knowledge of the Gospel". First of all, I wasn't even sure what that second one meant. But, as he explained it, I finally grasped it and had an ah hah moment. He's talking about the degree that we as believers experience the Gospel in our daily personal lives. whoa! That struck deep in me along the line of thoughts and internal discussions I've been have for months. We went on to discuss what is the core of the Gospel? It comes down to Jesus Christ:his life, death, and resurection. That's it nothing else. I read in Romans, Hebrews and beyond that yes the Gospel is also for me not just for unbelievers or those who have not heard. It is for me, Marti. Everyday I need the Gospel in my life. One of Gary's points was to the extent the Gospel is working in our lives effects everything we do. It effects my love for others, my belief in Christ to work, my hunger to share the good news of Christ,etc. I realize that right now I am not believing the power of God in my life as a believer and I am not believing most times that the Gospel is good news for me thus my "job" here in Italy becomes just that a job rather that a burning passion to share something incomparably valuable in my life with lost Italians. I began this semester on a search to figure out what it means to truly and deeply believe God not just believe in Him and to figure out what is the Gospel for me. The road ahead looks to be long but holds great growth for me in my walk as a beloved daughter of the King. This is not something I will figure out overnight, next week or probably even by next year. Pray that God would show me what it mean to truly believe in Him, how I go about doing that, and what the Gospel means in my life and in my calling to Pisa.

Back In Italy

2007-01-11T17:45:00.000-06:00

After a trip home to Mississippi for Christmas, I have returned to Pisa. Things here are pretty slow this time of year so the transition back to life here has been gradual which is good for me. The students are all studying for January and February exams. Classes begin the end of February. This gives me a lot of time to think and process the trip home, my calling to Pisa, the semester ahead and the growth taking place in my life. I would like to have spent more time seeing family and friends while I was home but between traveling, doctors visits, and my grandmother going back into the hospital there just wasn't time. I am thankful for the opportunity just to go home and spend Christmas with my family this year. While I was in America I didn't find too many things that made me say "wow, you know I miss that". Though I do miss taking long drives in the country listening to music. I have been experiencing a lot of personal growth over the last two years that has allowed my family and friends to mean more to me than ever. I see the value of building and maintaining relationships with people. My team here always reminds me that we weren't made to live life alone and thrive in isolation. We were made for community. In light of this growth, community/fellowship with family and friends is what I miss most. I realize more each time I go home that there is a great sacrifice being made to serve overseas. It makes returning to the mission field more difficult emotionally. I find myself longing to do and take part in the everyday things with my family like going to dinner, weekend trips, walmart shopping, etc. I am praying that God will bring about a greater community of ICS(long term laborers) here in Italy and especially Pisa. Amanda and I pray for more single teammates often. Join me in praying that God really would send out more laborers into the sowing and harvesting fields of Italy. I am looking forward to what hte Spring semester will bring us here in Pisa. As time passes and I think through more things I will fill you in on them. Right now I am so tired and have been very sick for 3 days so I think I will go to bed now. More later.

Italian Sub

2006-11-27T20:24:00.000-06:00

Nothing like touring an Italian sub on a saturday afternoon in Italy. It was pretty awesome. A friend from church who works at the base took us for a tour.

Sunday Lunch

2006-11-02T07:11:00.000-06:00

Giuseppe, Chiara, Me, Giuseppe(back), Giacomo(wt.shirt) , Luigi(red shirt) and Amanda

Our crowd of friends from across the street at Bar Roma (a restaurant & cafe). One of them went to church with us and then everyone came over for lunch when we got back to Pisa. They made all of the food. We had a traditional pasta one of the boy's mom made, fresh pasta made by another guy's grandma, bruschetta made by one of the guys,meat sauce made by Chiara, and I made brownie sundaes. We had a great time putting everything together and setting up a huge lunch for 7. I have never eaten so much food in my life. It was a 3 hour lunch then we walked through town as it was the monthly
market Sunday. I seriously could not eat for a day after. These people have become our good friends in Pisa. We have met most of their parents and families. Pray for natural and open spiritual conversations. Pray for multiple opportunities to share the love of Christ not just through our actions but also with words.

Vision Casting

2006-11-02T06:49:00.000-06:00

It has taken 2 weeks of messages and cancellations to pull of this dinner to meet with the Christian students who understand what vision is and have a heart to reach others. People began to arrive at 7:30 p.m. but in usual Italian style weren't all here until 8:30 maybe 9 p.m. We prepared a huge meal of pasta, pancetta(bacon), piselli(peas) and panna(cream). We sat down over a meal and began to speak about the different ministries we are involved in. Our goal for this night was to help the students understand the vision and goals of Agape Italia and to discuss how we could work together to reach the students of Pisa. Our vision for Agape is not to replace the 2 other ministries here but rather to work together and help one another become better at what we do. We long to see the most students reached for Christ and this will only happen if we are united. We need the help of the other groups as we are outsiders and they need us because of the training we bring. They were all very excited and eager to give ideas on how we can be more culturally relevant and creative in reaching Pisa students. I pray that the vision to create spiritual multipliers will be grasped over time. We desire that students with the message of Christ that God has entrusted to them will in turn entrust the same message to others who will in turn entrust it to other faithful men. It was a very exciting and encouraging night to see these students take some ownership of the ministry. It was after midnight when we all headed home.

25th Birthday

2006-10-10T16:22:00.000-05:00

Not too long after arriving in Italy I had my 25th birthday. I wasn't really sure what to expect and I was a litle depressed leading up to the day. I wanted it to be fun and to have people celebrate with me but we did not have too many friends after just 2 weeks. But to my delight a favorite staff friend, Nicole, came up from Florence to celebrate the day with me and my roommate. We have a great time picnic-ing at the tower and playing around Pisa before stuffing ourselves with some of Pisa's best pizza at La Scuderia. Yummy. Later in the night Amanda planned a little surprise get together of all our friend fromm the cafe across the street. They came over after work around eleven and celebrated with me. We ate some yummy chocolate cake that Amanda made. Here in Italy it is custom for you to make your own birthday cake and throw yourself a party and cook dinner for the guests. I am not really a fan of this tradition. I prefer the American way of birthday parties. Looking around the room made me smile as there were 5 Italians, 2 Albanians and a girl from Czech there to celebrate. They even bought me a birthday gift with a card that read welcome to pisa and welcome in our hearts form the bar roma team. I am excited at hte days ahead as we get to know them better and they become more and more like family away from home for us.

Last Hoorah

2006-10-10T16:10:00.000-05:00

Just a little pic from my last weekend in the states. I had a great time visiting with all my coollege friends that I never get to see. It was like a great reunion. My cousin married one of my best friends from college. I had the fun of setting them up. Congrats Josh and Amanda.

Thoughts on Italy

2006-08-03T22:36:00.000-05:00

A Word from Habakkuk:

Habakkuk complains to the Lord about all the bad happening around him and asks why the Lord does not work. The Lord answers Habakkuk:
"Look among the nations, and see; wonder and be astounded.For I am doing a work in your days that you would not believe if told" Habakkuk1:5

I think of our trip to Africa back in November and how hard the ground seemed. It reminded me so much of how we labor in northern Pisa, Italy year after year and it seems to us like nothing is happening. But after you read this newsletter you will see that the African ground has changed and ground in the south of Italy has changed. You see the harvest of 75 in 2 weeks in Gambia and the harvest of 41 in 5 weeks in Salerno, Italy. As I look at going back to Pisa in the north for 3 years I am hopeful that God is working like Habakkuk 1:5. I am reassured that God is working even in spite of my frequent unbelief and doubt. It's crazy that God says look even if I told you you still wouldn't believe me. So I must learn to trust. I have to take God at His word and choose to be obedient to the call. Habakkuk 2:3 gives me guidance and a hope for the future of Italy. It is God's answer to Habakkuk's second complaint about the evil among the nations. The Lord answers" Write the vision; make it plain on tablets, so he may run who reads it. For still the vision awaits it's appointed time; it hastens to the end-it will not lie. If it seems slow, wait for it; it will surely come; it will not delay." I am told to run, to write down and display it among the nations what God has shown me. It gives me a vision for what we seek to accomplish in Italy. We want to make the Gospel clear to Italians so that when they read it, when they get it , and when they have Christ in their hearts they can run. I long to see the day when Italians run. But until that day I will hold fast to God's call to wait for it and His promise that it will surely come. It may not come in my lifetime or my days serving in Pisa but it will come. I am anxious with great joy adn energy to move to Italy. I dream about my days there meeting with students over an espresso in the early afternoon at a lone table in a sidewalk cafe. As the day of my move draws closer, image after image of my time in Italy 3 years ago flash through my mind. The faces of lost students, the words spoken, the seeds sown and the hope granted.

2006-07-30T13:44:00.000-05:00

Gambia Newsletter Stories:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OZjg5RrGD18

My team's heart was to give these people a hope and a joy that goes beyond their vast poverty. We spent 9 days upcountry in the villages. The days began with breakfast, worship and time in the Word. At 5:30 p.m. each day we loaded up our 3 vehicles for follow up and film showing. We showed the film twice each night for 6 nights in different villages. One group visited the villages from the night before to answer any questions they might have. I have never been in a ministry environment like this. People were ready to hear and wanted to be taught. We saw almost 75 people come to know Christ.

The Gambia, Africa

2006-07-21T17:46:00.000-05:00

The Gambia, is a place like none other I've ever visited. The people have an uncommon friendliness and hospitality that I'm not even sure the South can match. As you walk along the dirt roads you see countless lives being lived for what purpose. My team's heart was to give these people a hope and a joy that goes beyond their vast poverty.We spent 9 days upcountry serving in the villages. Each village was just as curious as the next to know why we came so far to spend time with them. The days began with a small breakfast followed by worship and time in the Word. In the afternoon, we walked into town or to a nearby viallge to visit with people. I enjoyed this time of building relationsips with the people. At 5:30 p.m. evening we loaded up our 3 vehicles for follow up and film showing. We showed the film twice each night for 6 nights in different villages. One group visited the villages from the night before to visit with the people and answer any questions they might have. The ground proved to be very fertile adn ready for harvest on this trip. I have never been in a ministry environment quite like this. People were ready to hear and wanted to be taught. In all we saw almost 75 people come to know Christ personally in these two weeks. We saw people hearts for their viallge and those nearby. One man in particular touched my heart. He had been a Catholic since a very young age. I shared my story of coming to know Christ during one of hte film showings and afterwards he came up to me and the people gathered in close to hear what this man had to say. It was very dark so I couldn't see his face but he held my hand and said thank you os much for bringing this to our village. Thank you for sharing this with us. People want to know but no one comes here to teach them. This is your village and you are welcome to come here anytime. He stressed the need of a church in these villages to teach new believers. My heart broke as I listened to this man's words adn the agreements of those around us. I saw firsthand how few the laborers are. I saw how few are willing to go out to the hard places. Pray that these new believers can become rooted and grounded in their faith despite the lack of teaching. Pray they can band together as a fellowship of believers. Pray for Pastor Paul as he being one man goes out to these villages to follow up with people.

My Italian Hometown

2006-06-09T12:15:00.000-05:00

The view from a night time stroll in Piazza dei Miracoli (Field of Miracles) in Pisa. This is my favorite time to visit the tower and enjoy its beauty.

How I Got To Italy:

The University of Mississippi has a partnerhsip with the University of Pisa, Italy. The spring of my sophomore year I took part in a vision trip to get a taste of the ministry in Italy. It was during this one week trip that God gave me a vision for reaching the world and specifically the Italian students. I returned home from that trip with news that I would be taking my junior year off from college to go on a one year mission trip to the University of Pisa. At the age of 21, I moved halfway around the world not having a clue what to expect but it was there that I met God like I never had before. I was broken beyond belief and at the same time built up in the Lord far more than I could have ever imagined possible. While serving in Italy I had the unique opportunity to travel to 12 countries and take part in ministry in each of them in different forms ranging from Jesus Film/Bible distribution in Africa to teaching English Camps in Croatia. When I returned home, I knew that God had me going overseas again in the future. I pushed as hard as I could to finish up college early and while doing that I felt God's call to begin praying about joining staff with Campus Crusade and returning long term(3-5 years) to Italy. After a few months of prayer I received a definite yes from God about pursuing staff with Campus Crusade for Christ and applying to go back to Italy long term to provide much needed stability to the ministry there. Romans 10:13-15 spoke to my heart about taking the message of Jesus Christ to the nations

2006-05-26T23:01:00.000-05:00

Day One

2006-02-09T09:11:00.000-06:00

Alright, so I finally gave in to the blog craze. I thought this might be a good addition to my ministry website. It will be easier for me to post rambling and such here. I do enjoy writing thought it's not often very profound thoughts. Enjoy!